Growing up I heard stories about evil spirits and about haunted houses, I also heard stories of Santa and the tooth fairy. Who to believe?! I then went on to Study mathematics for 4 years, specializing in probability and statistics so lets just say I was a pretty ‘rational’ type of guy! I then went on to become an actuary (who estimate how long you will live, sell you assurance….and make a profit hummm!!). So if you like, life was just one big mathematics equation!
At age 23 a family member fell ill and was placed in a psychiatric hospital, on my first visit I was surprised by how many young people were in there, and also by how few seemed to be getting out! It seemed to me that they weren’t been cured. Little did I know that 2 short years later I would become one of them!
When I fell ill, like so many others, I did not respond to medication – I may as well have been taking lollies. I was aware of an anxiety and of an unrest ‘in me’, like there was something living inside me, upsetting my thoughts. I didn’t want to think this way but I couldn’t stop it! I guess I could compare it to a phobia, those who are afraid of spiders know that it is silly but yet the fear continues – knowing in the head is not the same as believing in the heart! Often it is the same with depression, a depressed person simply does not have the “force” to smile.
To cut a long story short, in the midst of my hell, I got involved in hypnosis and learned how to put myself into a deep trance! Apparently I had a natural inclination towards this and was able to go deep. Sounds interesting right? Want to try? Read on and you may think twice!!
One day, while going into this trance like state, upon closing my eyes I had a vision of Jesus and Mary, their hands open wide and I felt a power around me, a love, a protection. I knew that I had to follow. The next day however I felt the opposite, I became intuitively aware of the presence of evil spirits in my room and cold shivers ran down my spine as my head was once again flooded with thoughts of suicide, thoughts of being mutilated and thoughts of lust.
Satan’s nest had been disturbed and this was just the beginning of my journey towards deliverance in my journey of healing. Some of the evil effects over the years included
– thoughts of dying every waking hour for over 3 years
– thoughts of being stabbed, cut, run over
– being killed in nightmares
– visions of spirits, auras, energies
– physically shaken in bed at night
– muscle cramps, stomach pains
– glued to the bed in the morning, unable to open my eyes or move my body
Not to mention all the other effects such as
– 3 car crashes
– 3 operations (never was even in hospital before all this)
– financial ruin
– destruction of all family relationships
– continual ‘bad luck’ and misunderstandings
But the greatest source of suffering was yet to come! Not being believed by the vast majority of people in the Church. Once I spoke to a priest after having been shaken in my bed the night before, he asked me how I could be sure if it wasn’t my imagination?! I felt like throwing a glass of cold water on him and asking him the same. Credit must be given to the good priests and laypeople who did understand, and especially to my uncle. Their prayers and support have been of untold benefit.
I was most relieved when I had the opportunity to speak to an exorcist, finally I met somebody who was able to understand all these things! I was relieved and at the same time I felt utterly betrayed. Relieved to find understanding and yet betrayed by the countless other priests whom I met who having no understanding of these phenomenon ignored me and ruthlessly passed me off as another unbalanced mental patient.
While in India my understanding of spirituality increased, a very knowledgeable charasmatic priest once said in one of his sermons that in his experience 85% of mental illness are in fact spiritual and I have to say that from what I have personally experienced and from speaking with other people, I believe him.
I am now free of all this, I have needed no medication besides prayer. I have made a truly remarkable recovery against all the odds. The answer has been prayer, prayer and more prayer!
If you are reading this and suffer from ‘mental illness’ that does not respond to medication, then perhaps what you need is prayer and deliverance. Evil does exist and we must fight with spiritual weapons!
Let us also pray that more people will rise up in the Church to help those afflicted by these types of mysterious illnesses, remembering that Jesus healed the sick, he cast out demons, he did not content himself to sit in a nice cosy room and read about it!
Thanks you Jesus for what you have done in my life, I pray that others my find hope and inspiration through my sharing.
God bless you,