Today I’ve decided to write about God’s provion for our needs and how God has provided in my life! Unfortunately in many places and Churches all over the world this concept has been lost and rationalism has set in. Let me share some reflections!
So about 5 years ago I met Jesus, before that I earned quite a large salary for my age! I had a car loan of 30,000 Euro, rent on an apartment of 1200 per month not to mention all the other expenses. In the midst of all this I was suffering very badly from depression and anxiety etc (you know all that bit at this stage).
So Jesus appears to me in a vision and within three weeks instructed me to resign my job, leave the country and go to an unknown town in France…calling me 1) to trusting in him to sort out all my debts and 2) trusting in him for all my daily expenses!
Naively when I arrived in France I shared my calling with people and priests alike! Little did i know that they would think that i was off the planet, somehow they had been reading the same gospel but not the same spirit! While everybody advised me (told me) that I should work to pay off my debts and to sustain my life, Jesus told me that I was already working, his work, invisible work and so called me to trusting in him. This caused much confusion but let me share some instances where the Lord has come through!
1. The bank threatened me with letters to bring me to court regarding the car! While I told them of my previous illness and recovery journey, they were heartless! So eventually the Lord told me to call their bluff!! They reposessed the car sold it for an enormous loss and I’ve never heard from them since…thank you Jesus!!
2. After much prayer, a credit card debt to the tune of about 4000 got wiped out by a different bank!
Now bearing in mind that I spent about 8 hours a day praying and interceding, I was far from idle!
After 6 months in France I was out of money…a friend kindly gave me a coupon that she had for a restaurant, she had set it aside for a homeless person but felt that i was a more worthy cause! Another friend gave me 200euro, the same girl had almost nothing herself…what did the rich give me? Nothing, that’s why they are rich!
And so I came to the point of having nothing, I sat alone in a Church in Paris after mass, feeling the presence of Jesus and telling him that I couldn’t take anymore pain. All of a sudden a young man named Anthony came along and introduced himself, I told him enough about my life to make him interested and tried to limit it so as not to scare him, looking back I’m not sure that it worked! Anyway to cut a long story short, that day i was invited to lunch and within 2 weeks I was working at a very famous catholic retreat centre…Jesus had saved me again at the last minute!
Due to misunderstandings which i will tell you about another day, I was obliged to leave this centre after about 6 weeks and once again arrived in another french city, Lyon with about 50euro. Within 2 weeks Jesus found me an apartment (for free!!) and a part-time job! I stayed here for about 2 months!
Every day I went to mass, in fact twice most days, the Lord put so many things and people on my heart to pray for….and yet I was accused of ‘doing nothing’. But Jesus gave me the force to continue, to be a true disciple…
we search for God in books, we find Him in prayer
In a strange turn of events I was guided back to the south of France, Toulon, where it had all begun. I met with a priest, the superiour of a religious community and after imploring him at the point of tears to help he decided to let me stay for a while! He told me that I would have to get a job and that there was no way i could enter the seminary! Jesus told me otherwise….to cut a long story short, Jesus won!!!
However due to a lack of prayer life the Lord called me out of the seminary, I believe that he simply wanted me to see what i was like (so that i’d never think of going back!!) and so I packed my bags and again with nothing headed off! Jesus was there all the time telling me to trust, the world was there telling me that i was mad!
Jesus led me to some priests, then to another and then BOOM to India! I had 2 weeks to prepare for India! The Lord told me not to worry about vaccinations or the like, he’d protect me and that would be fine! So 2 weeks later i arrived in Chennai with 30 Euro! True to his word I was never sick in India and ate and drank all sorts of foods!!
After 4 months of teaching english to Indian seminarians while working with orphan children in mother Theresa’s community, the Lord once again called me on! He told me to leave and to take a 12 hour bus journey accross India to a reatreat centre, from where he promised to send me to my next destination! To be honest I was more worried about telling the monks where i was staying than i was about going!! Jesus gave me a great peace during that trip, despite having almost no money and having no idea where I would be the week after!
I arrived to my destination feeling intimidated and worried. There was a lot to bear and I had many of “job’s advisors” to fend off! Fortunatley my uncle with whom I have always had regular contact by phone was there for me! As providence would have it, the opportunity opened up to speak to the superiour of the retreat centre! I shared a bit of my journey with him and he spoke to me of coming to Australia! To be honest, Oz was the last place on earth that i would have wanted to go…which is why i knew that it must have been God’s will! Two months later I arrived in Australia with my 12 kilos of baggage (my body weight was not much more at that stage!!).
The Lord surrounded me with angels and gave me an angelic peace during this trip! I initially arrived in Canberra where i spent 6 months with a religious community (Missionaries of God’s Love). As time progressed the Lord made it very clear to me that I was to move on, I felt sorry for the priests who couldn’t seem to get their heads around my lifestyle while I remain grateful for all I have received.
More and more the Lord was calling me to prayer, especially to intercession and to the area of inner healing! An opportunity opened up to do a retreat in Melbourne and as I was preparing to go the Lord told me that I wouldn’t be coming back! I think I almost gave the poor priest a heart attack when I told him….that type of discernement didn’t appear in the books in the seminary…though it’s worth reading the acts of the apostles!!!
Miraculously the Lord provided a lift to Melboure, the money for the retreat and a small amount of pocket money in the space of 24 hours! Over the next few days i was to meet a group called Living Waters (where I am now) and was to be blown away by their ministry and their faith. Initally I had reserves as the group was not catholic, but the Lord has since opened my eyes big time!
And so another miralce ensued and after prayer i was invited up to Sydney by Ron Brookman who has since astounded me by his faith and generosity! I arrived in Sydney with nothing, not even a bank account but the Lord called me to trusting him! Two days laters a mysterious donation came, I was given a mobile phone, clothes…..
Again, what was i doing? Prayer…’nothing’ in the eyes of so many and yet in the Lords eyes there is nothing as important!
I continue to live like this, anonymous envelopes with donations arrive when God chooses, the Gospel is a way of life, the spiritual laws are just as sound and reliable as the physical laws….i have never gone short in 5 years, I have never missed a meal (in fact quite the opposite), I have travelled more and have had had heaps more fun!
This is only a very short summary of some of what the Lord has taught me, however I encourage anybody reading this to dare to step out in faith! Dare to be different, dare to be a fool for Jesus..trust me it’s enormous fun!! I also ask you to pray for me, while I have shared with you the glamorous side, there have also been many very difficult moments where i’ve felt like giving it all up, Lord Jesus, for as long as you give me grace I’ll continue.