Monthly Archives: Jan 2016

Catholic and Gay

17 Sun Jan 2016

Posted by in All Posts, Sexuality

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This is a short reflection on my journey within the catholic church as someone with homosexual orientation. It is by no means an extensive study of the issue….just a personal testimony.

One of the first things that I learnt about God is that he is both loving and merciful….yet it puzzled me that in 2000 years of Church history there was not a single recorded saint who had a homosexual orientation. There were prostitutes, womanisers, murderers….but helas, no gays!

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As I began mixing in religious circles in France I always got the same advice ‘all that is in the past, never mention it again’…..but how does ones orientation suddenly become in the past and why the big silence. I was living a single life like everybody else….why the silence, the shame, the fear?

On entering the seminary for a year of discernment I got the same advice….if you ever talk about that you’ll have to leave! After a year I did leave, the silent shameful repression not only hampered me from finding God, but led me into a near breakdown.

The same pattern followed in the catholic church in Australia. SILENCE! I could never understand it especially considering the high rate of suicide amoung young men struggling with their sexual orientation. Once again I came to breaking point in a well reputed australian order.

Finally I joined a Church in Sydney where I was allowed to be myself, not surprisingly it was not a catholic church. Freedom at last, a place where it was ok to be yourself.

Very often young catholic men contact me about their struggles with sexuality. More than anything they need to talk, to be real. Saying a rosary and pretending that it will all go away only makes it worse.

I read once that between 25 – 40%  of priests have a homosexual orientation. I pity them. How on earth are they to stay celibate if they are not able to speak honestly about their lives.

Perhaps one day homosexual men may be accepted and welcomed by the Catholic Church, that the fear and shame and guilt may go.

In the mean time I console myself that God loves me. There is a place in his heart for me even if the catholic church has no place for me right now.

Language technique

16 Sat Jan 2016

Posted by in Mini testimonies

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A funny little testimony to the goodness of God and to the reality of the Holy Spirit.

Shortly after arriving in France I had great difficulty in understanding anything at mass and I found that everybody spoke far too quickly for me to confidently follow the conversations. Only having done french to high school, I had the basics but between that and being fluent and at ease there was a gulf!

One day after spending an hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament I came out to find everybody speaking far more slowly and me understanding almost everything totally at ease! Of course they were not speaking more slowly, but God decided to speed me up!

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After a few months people were so impressed that they used to ask me what language technique I used to learn french….i used to say that I had a good angel, I dont think they’d have believed the truth!

To this day I speak french effortlessly almost like it’s a native language.

Prayer is powerful. God can do the impossible, visit Jesus at the Blessed Sacrament and He will help you with whatever it is that you need in your life!

Liturgy

14 Thu Jan 2016

Posted by in Holy Spirit & Prayer

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Liturgy is to do with all the bells and whistles around services such as the mass…..how many candles, clorhes….that sort of thing.

There are many different liturgies and I dont think we could ever say that one is right and others wrong.

The purpose of any liturgy is to make visible what is invisible in terms of spiritual realities through symbols.

I have seen many different liturgies over the years particularily for catholic mass. The 2 main types were the latin mass and the mass as we know it today.

Latin mass is very rich when it comes to liturgy. For example the priest has his back to us, not to be rude but to symbolise Jesus leading us to heaven like the captain of a football team leading his players onto the pitch. Mass is in Latin but there usually is a little missel provided so that one can follow. The silence can help to reflect and let the mysteries sink in!

The other side of the coin is that a new person would not understand and could feel very excluded and for those celebrating the mass it can be very diffucult to pray if the liturgy is too complex because an undue amount of time will be spent worrying when to geneflect next!

On the other hand over simple liturgies can take away from the sense of the sacred and so it can be harder to take the mass seriously.

As for music which is a super important part of all liturgies, the idea is to get the balance! If the music is terrible it will distract everybody and if it’s too good it may prove to be an equal hazard!!

So with all that in mind…what is the answer! I think that the solution lies in praying a little bit before mass and spending a little time trying to understand the liturgy of your parish and trying not to judge.

Ill finish with an example. It was my first charismatic mass in France and was the moment of consecration. Because I was used to a latin mass I kneeled and prayed silently. Everybody else stayed standing and prayed in tongues. The man beside me tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I was ok!! In hindsight I think I judged him and he judged me. A minute or 2 later I think they all did kneel in silence and I felt like a right idiot!!

God, we are not perfect, help us to love you!

Hearing voices….a gift or madness?!!

03 Sun Jan 2016

Posted by in All Posts, Holy Spirit & Prayer, New age & Demons

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The ability to hear voices is a normal capacity of our spirits! And so the issue isnt actually in hearing voices, but rather what voices we hear and how we handle it!

Often when people have suffered from trauma they begin to hear voices. It’s not that they have gone mad, but rather that the traumatic event needs healing…..and this healing may well take time and involve both spiritual a psychological rememedies.

Others such as myself hear the voice of the Holy Spirit. Again this is simply a spiritual gift and there is nothing unusual about it. Unfortunately people less aware of spiritual matters may think you are mad….but I guess every gift has a cost to it.

At times hearing the voices is the easy part….living in an over rational society is the challenge.

If you know somebody who hears voices, do not be afraid. These things are not as uncommon as all that but the person may need spiritual healing or assistance.

Please, never judge.

Spiritual travel

03 Sun Jan 2016

Posted by in All Posts, Holy Spirit & Prayer, New age & Demons

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Some of you may have heard of spiritual travel before, some maybe heard the term astral travel or something else….and to others this is all new!

Spiritual travelling is when a spirit attaches itself to your spirit and then brings you to spiritual places. In christian circles we often associate this with new age practices and so not being of God. However it would be false to reject spiritual travel when it is in fact the iniative of God’s Holy Spirit.

God’s Holy Spirit is far more powerful and creative than any other spirit. It was the Holy Spirit who brought Paul up to the third heaven, it was the Holy Spirit who revealed the book of revelation to St John as he travelled in Spirit.

Spiritual travel is a gift of the Holy Spirit. God reveals things to the soul in question as He sees fit.

Of course not all spirirual travel is of God. Other spirits can also reveal things. This is why it is important to discern the spirits. Just as you wouldnt jump into a car with a stranger, similarily it’d be foolish to travel with an unknown spirit.

Sometimes it may be hard to know the real from the fake but I think that simplicity is the key to discernment. The true Holy Spirit will bring you closer to Jesus and the fruits of the Spirit (love, peace…).

If you know somebody experiencing this, love them, reassure them, listen to them. It can be very lonely and frightening for a soul and crushing when well meaning but under informed individuals dismiss the work of God.

In my travels over the years I have found very few christians trained in this. Shockingly I discovered that even many exorcists are not trained in this…..thus falsely attributing to evil spirits what might be the Holy Spirit. Many times I had the Holy Spirit exorcised out of me!!!.Not that they can actually do that but it did cause me much pain and confusion at the time.

The biggest lesson to learn is that we dont know everything, that the Holy Spirit is very creative and if we are dealing with a soul that we don’t understand, to have the humility to admit our shortcoming and to seek the advice of somebody more experienced and trained than ourselves!