Monthly Archives: Dec 2017

Bosnia by night! 

31 Sun Dec 2017

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Last night the Holy Spirit sent us out on a bit of fun! Renting a car we left Medjugorje for Mostar and hit the town!! We prayed to St Joseph to guide us!

I must admit being quite surprised in comparison to what I had experienced in Australia, France and Ireland… God never ceases to teach me!!

Mostar is divided into two areas, one mainly Catholic and the other mainly Muslim. When we inquired as to where to go out we were proudly told that all the good clubs etc were in the Catholic area. I couldn’t help but smile at what seemed like a bit of a contradiction!!

So we hit the bar and as I was driving I decided I’d only have a few glasses of wine early in the night which would be well gone by 2 in the morning!!

Some observations about the bars!!

1. Girls wear clothes over here! I didn’t see one pair of boobs….and because I wouldn’t be interested anyway this avoided the usual awkwardness of not knowing where to look when you feel that 4 eyes are staring at you instead of 2!!

Bosnia 1 –  West 0

2. Smoking… Everybody smokes and I’d forgotten how disgusting it is and as a non smoker how sickening it is to have all my clothes stinking of other people’s smoke!!

Bosnia 1 – West 1

3. No shouting and pushing at the bar, nobody to spill a drink over me and no vomit in the toilet… Is it possible to go out and be civilised?!! Apparently so!

Bosnia 2 – West 1

Half Time


4. The club, the ‘pink panther’ which sounds terribly gay but only by name had no danse floor to cut loose!!

Bosnia 2 – West 2

5.  Free in, could even bring your coat without feeling that you are a drug smuggler!!

Bosnia 3 – West 2

6. Nobody off their face drunk, stupid and obnoxious!

Bosnia 4 – West 2

7. Not a single couple eating the face off one another or groping one another like something you’d see at the zoo in the rabbits corner!!

Bosnia 5 – West 2

At about 2.30 we decided to call it a night. Overall it was good fun, to be recommended!

Thank you Jesus, bless young people of Bosnia ! May we have many more adventures!!

Priests in hell? 

29 Fri Dec 2017

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Since arriving in Medjugorje the Holy Spirit has asked me to pray for priests, bishops and religious in purgatory. One day I asked Jesus if any were in hell and here is what he said!

Yes!!

Firstly He showed me the terrible pain that priests and religious suffer in purgatory. It seemed well beyond the normal agony of purgatory. Now you might be wondering why does God ‘punish’ them so much but instead I want you to think of an immaculately white wedding dress that got a bottle of red wine spilt over it!

Because of it’s whiteness and the quality of the material it will need to be washed and washed and washed until it’s restored.

Similarly with priests, bishops and religious! God loves them so much that he gave them the gift of becoming priests, of serving him… But many got lost in the quest after power and have misused their priesthood and positions. The result is that their souls are black…. Dead.

But God’s mercy for His chosen ones is enormous and so many find their way to purgatory where they cry for their sins. Many times Jesus gives me inner visions of them and while their pain is desperate, so is their love and their desire to get to heaven and intercede for the purification of the Church!

The main reasons Jesus has shown me for their suffering in purgatory are…

1. Silence in their preaching and teaching where they did not teach lay people the ways of God.

2. Misusing the sacraments, giving absolution to people ‘willy nilly’ without checking for true contrition and celebrating Holy Mass without love and devotion.

3. Terrible sins against charity when it comes to the poor. Not loving and helping  the people in most need of help such as the mentally unwell, gays, thieves….

4. Sins of omission against prayer. Neglecting their own prayer lives, the divine office, adoration, rosary, intercession.

5. Spreading of false theologies and compromised teaching due to a lack of obedience to church teaching

The list could go on but they are the main ones. But going back to whether any go to hell Jesus told me that yes, many do not accept God’s mercy and choose hell!

Yesterday as I was in adoration a man of prayer passed me a leaflet with some of the visions of Saint Gemma Galgani and the Lord gave her a graphic account of what happens to the priests who go to hell. It was quite frightening really and yet it made sense, those that rebel against God the most will suffer the most!

So today let us pray for our priests that they will become men of prayer. Men of preaching, teaching and healing and that they may not only avoid hell, but that they may avoid purgatory and that they may enjoy the privileged positions in heaven that Jesus has in mind for them since the day they were conceived!

Our Lady, help our priests!

Catholic Schizophrenia 

28 Thu Dec 2017

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Recently I watched a film called ‘me, myself and Irene’. For anyone unfamiliar with it, it’s about a man who flips out and turns schizophrenic. His mind splits into two different personalities and besides knowing that the other exists, each personality doesn’t know what happens when the other is in control!

As I reflect on this I can’t help but compare it to the terrible division of personality in the church today!

There seems to be a terrible divide between the charismatic healing side and the more conservative traditional side.

Healing, deliverance, tongues, visions, reading the Bible, personal testimony and sharing are some of what is normal for the charismatic side while on the traditional side there is a far greater emphasis on devotionals, rosaries, reparation… 

So which one is right?

Well just like the movie, both are parts of the same personality. The issue isn’t who is right or wrong, the issue is the division!From my own life story I’ve certainly suffered the consequences of such divides. When I used to have nasty experiences of demons such as seeing them, feeling their presence and nasty demon dreams my charismatic friends took it completely in their stride, praying with me for freedom and it worked! When I used to share the same story to my traditional friends, they were unable to understand and many even thought that I was schizophrenic, a word that many people in the church use despite not actually knowing what it is (it appears to be the mental health equivalent of a ‘virus’). 

On the other hand when I used to speak of our lady ‘s messages of Fatima and other such revelations, my traditional friends got it immediately while my charismatic friends seemed to find it difficult to grasp! 

Traditionalists seem to hold more clearly to the church teaching on moral issues but the charismatics offer healing and hope to the lost sheep. A priest once said that some have truth without mercy while others have mercy without truth…. 

So what’s the solution! Just like in the movie, the personalities need to be integrated! We need the love, mercy and power of the Holy Spirit that we often associate with the charismatics with the prayer, reparation and clear moral teaching of the traditionalists! 

Holy Spirit, heal the Schizophrenia of our Church. Bring us together on love and truth! 

Keeping up appearances! 

27 Wed Dec 2017

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Over the last few days I’ve been enjoying watching the well known British comedy, ‘keeping up appearances’!

How often do we keep up appearances in front of Jesus and Mary and the father?!

Like Hyacinth we perhaps are ashamed of our families or insecure in ourselves and are trying to be people that we are not!

The good news is that Jesus and Mary invite us to be ourselves and to be comfortable with ourselves, the good, the bad and the ugly! Jesus and Mary ask us to come as we are, to be real, to be honest, to be vulnerable!

I used to live with my auntie years ago. She was like poor old hyacinth, her only concern being the cares of this world and her ‘status’ in society. And before Jesus came into my life I was like that myself too….. Trying to be a somebody because deep down I felt I was a nothing!

Houses, cars, branded clothes are the only concern for these people. Looking back I thank God for my mother who always spoke to me about the reality of God and the superficiality of life and careers without him!

Jesus and Mary tear down our masks, they don’t care whether we come from rags or riches, whether we are black or white, gay or straight….. They love us where we are and how we are! They are not worried whether we have a sister violet with a house and room for a pony or whether we have a sister daisy married to an Onslo. They are not worried whether ‘daddy’ was a war hero or a dirty old man and they certainly don’t care whether we drink tea from McDonald’s or out of periwinkle China!!

So let’s tear down our masks and allow ourselves to be free with Jesus and Mary and pray for the Hyacinths  of this world!!

Gay marriage in Ireland 

26 Tue Dec 2017

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Two years ago I had to return from Australia in a state of burnout and suicide. Years of travelling and rejection somehow got the better of me and I collapsed like a wounded soldier under the pressure of it all!

It was a month before the referendum vote in Ireland for gay marriage which of course was accepted!

Here are some thoughts on the ‘yes vote’!

In an article written by Graham Norton who is an openly gay man, he said that in his opinion the yes to gay marriage was not really that Irish people are necessarily any more gay friendly, but that they are sick of being told what to do and being dictated to by the Church! In other words, the ‘yes’ to gay marriage was more of a ‘no to the Church’!!

Why?

Years of hearing about all the abuses that have happened in the Church have left the Irish people feeling terribly betrayed and let down. Story after story of child abuse, scandals with babies, money and power have left people horrified and angry!

I once recall my dad saying that it was good that my grandad had died before the scandals came out because if he hadn’t he may have died of heart failure! Good ordinary people who paid their tithings, went to mass, said their prayers and who were lead to believe that the priest was Jesus in person could only be horrified at what happened…. Not to mention the cover ups!!

Is it any wonder thar young people stopped going to church and have lost respect and credibility for the Church?!

And so when it comes to issues such as homosexuality and abortion, many people do not know what to think!

In my own case I can speak of homosexuality. I live a single celibate life and do not deviate from the official Catholic teaching and yet within Church circles I’ve often been terribly discriminated against for being honest and open about my struggle.

My poor parents who I must stress are good people didn’t know what to think when I told them of my sexuality. Fear gripped my poor mum and her initial reaction was to take her life if the neighbours found out! For my dad it was less serious. Selling up the house and farm and relocating to somewhere where nobody knew him would do!! Fortunately all has come good now and they subsequently apologised! Still I found this very sad in a ‘Catholic’ family and neighbourhood. Looking back on it they were in shock, they didn’t know what to do or to think as these issues were simply swept under the carpet. 

Last Christmas I stayed at a wonderful house of a friend very involved in prayer. Feeling a bit lonely around Christmas I fell into an old temptation of pornography. Thinking I could trust her, I asked her to pray for me. Three hours later she packed my bags with my permission and asked me to leave… A Christmas orphan!!

A year before the I visited Medjugorje and discussed my life with a priest in confession. Later that evening he invited me to his bed which of course I refused! While back in Ireland many priests did everything to encourage me back into the gay world…. ‘times are changing’, ‘intimacy is important’, ‘science is disproving faith’.

Even a few months ago an elder of a Catholic French community in Spain told me that I should not have shared my life with others in case some of the younger families may think that I was a pedophile!!

What is my crime? Being honest?, being vulnerable?

So if on a large scale many of our church leaders no longer believe in the teaching of the church and many people who do believe are unwilling to help those struggling, what can we really  expect?!

Are we not the scribes and pharisees of today placing large burdens on people and not lifting a finger to help them?!

Without love and support how does any young man or woman in today’s world, gay or straight stay chaste?! Without compassion and understanding what hope do people have?!

What alternatives to gay marriage are we offering? How do we suggest they deal with the pain and lonliness that can come with it?! Will we be there to listen, to love, to heal and to pray?

And so to finish, did Ireland as Graham Norton put it really vote yes to gay marriage or did they vote no to the church?! 

Life in purgatory 

25 Mon Dec 2017

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Yesterday while in Mostar thousands of holy souls surrounded me for prayer. We began to pray and I saw them getting released. Blasphemy was the main reason for their suffering. As they came to heaven they turned to light and were reunited with their families. What hit me the most was parents being reunited with their children. As I prayed about this Jesus explained that it is far easier for children to get to heaven due to their innocence than for adults who neglected their prayer.

Today Our Lady asked me to pray in a special way for souls in purgatory. When I went to adoration I had an hour long inner vision or impression of life in purgatory. Here are some of the things Jesus showed me….

-Purgatory is a place of hope. There is absolutely no doubt or despair in purgatory. Although there is terrible suffering, it is hope filled suffering.

-Purgatory is a place of absolute humility. There is not one single complaint in purgatory despite the suffering. Every soul accepts the suffering of purification in love, hope and justice as they hope for eternal bliss in heaven. The Holy Souls could teach us how to suffer perfectly.

-Purgatory is a place of the deepest of gratitude to God for saving them from hell and promising them heaven. Their gratitude and acceptance of suffering cannot but humble us when our cross seems too heavy.

-There is no sin in purgatory. Unlike here on earth where we can recall a certain sin and ‘go over’ it in our heads and fall into anger, in purgatory the entire will and intellect are absorbed in God and the purification of the soul happens passively.

-Purgatory is a place of peace and order. Because there is no sin in purgatory, nor the ability to sin, consequently there are no demons or temptations of any kind. The result is a place of perfect peace, prayer and suffering. A contemplative religious order comes to mind as a comparison.

-The souls in purgatory are extremely wise. They have infused knowledge of sin and of spiritual realities. If any one of them were to teach us they’d know more than the wisest saint.

-Purgatory is a place of love. Although helpless to help each other they do love each other and burn with a love of God.

-Purgatory is a place of different intensities of light. As the souls become more purified they shine more and more. Even the darkness places of purgatory have light, although so little due to the blackness of the darkest souls.

-There is no pure joy in purgatory. There is joy in the suffering but there is no reprieve, the suffering is constant and only in heaven will the souls be around peace. Yet the certainty of heaven make purgatory a ‘happy’ place.

-The Holy Souls love in a special way their families and loved ones on earth.

-When souls leave purgatory they shine as bright as stars and as there are brought into the presence of God they are simultaneously reunited with their families and loved ones on earth. Once in heaven there is no more account of how long they spent in purgatory. To compare would be to fall into pride.

Finally the Lord showed me many souls who had sinned far less than me who had spent a long time in purgatory. This was to teach me humility and gratitude for the grace of conversion which like all graces was completely unmerited. 

Pray for souls 

25 Mon Dec 2017

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Some more of what Jesus has taught me about purgatory…. 

Purgatory is real and though it be a place of suffering and atonement, it is also a place of love and mercy. Mercy because souls who die without perfect sanctity or perfect contrition are not ‘spiritually able to stand in heaven, it is a great relief to them to find purgatory where

  1. They are guaranteed of their salvation

  2. They are cleansed

Suffering in in purgatory is not salvific because the soul is separated from the body. Man must atone for the sins of man and this is why the holy souls desperately need your prayers and human sacrifices. In turn, much like angels, the souls can intercede for you. Souls in purgatory are especially active in the reconciliation of families since this is often the area where the  greatest divides have happened. What they once hid in secrecy in their earthly lives they now desperately try to reveal in purgatory so that

  1. It may be atoned for

  2. Demonic strongholds may be broken

Souls in purgatory are full of love and mercy and when they pass to heaven they will stand as special intercessors for you.

Purgatory has different levels depending on the state of the soul. It could be likened to a hospital where this is everything from the acute emergency care to minor. The soul in purgatory has a ‘spirit body’ and the suffering they experience corresponds to where they sinned with their physical bodies, such is the link between spirit and flesh. Souls in purgatory are not any less loved by God than those in heaven, they are by no means second class saints. 

Dead Mass! 

24 Sun Dec 2017

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Most people are familiar with the term ‘black mass’. For anyone who is not, black masses are how satanists worship the devil doing abominable acts to the eucharist which they usually steal……

Needless to say, black masses are extremely evil 😈 

So what are ‘dead masses’?

And if I told you that ‘dead masses’ offend Jesus and Mary more than black masses..  What would you say?!

Dead masses are like when you wake up on a sunny day and you rush to the beach but when you get there, there is a big clowd of darkness blocking the sun. The other people, instead of being happy are fighting and bickering, moaning and groaning and the joy you had suddenly turns to sadness!!

Dead masses are often celebrated by dead priests. Men who gave their lives to God but for whatever reason, years of ministry, lonliness, false theologies… have snuffed out the spirit in them and often they have become dismayed and cynical, no longer believing in Church teaching or in prayer or in spiritual realities such as heaven or hell.

Their God is more loving than ours. He does not let anyone go to hell. There is no such thing as sin and hence no need for preaching, teaching or old fashioned confession. Everybody may receive Holy Communion at these masses, if the devil himself was present, he too would be welcomed in and of course given communion. 

The result of these dead masses is that thousands and thousands of people are receiving the body and blood of Jesus without taking it seriously or being taught. Jesus often mentioned to the saints how he hates entering some souls, not because He doesn’t love them, but because they don’t love Him!! 

To give a human analogy. When we receive the body of Jesus, He gives us Himself. The only human activity that this self giving comes anyway close to is the sexual intimacy of marriage. John Paul 2 wrote superbly on this in ‘theology of the body’. But going back to the point I was making, to receive Jesus without thinking twice about the type of life you are living, without prayer, with love would be like going up to a woman that you do not know and raping her!

Now, to be fair, many people are unaware of what they are doing because they have never been properly taught. I too was one of these people who popped along to mass at Christmas and Easter and probably received communion because ‘everyone else did’ and the priests never said anything about it so I took the silence as an affirmation!!

Fortunately when I did experience Jesus ten years ago, He began to show me the terrible reality of sin and the terrible silence in today’s church that leaves so man people spiritually unaware and dead.
You see, Jesus’ body and blood is like a medication for the soul and like any medicine, it must be taken properly. Even the best medicines may kill you if you don’t take them properly!!

So you see dear friends, Jesus is not about refusing you His love because He doesn’t love you. Jesus is the good doctor who wants you to take your medicine correctly and get healed!!

Jesus needs you to cooperate with him and his ways and to do that you need to know who He is and what sin is so that when you fall you run back to confession and mass…. NOT because Jesus is angry with you, but because He wants to clean out the wound so that it does not get worse just like a doctor would bandage and disinfect a nasty cut!

When I lived in Australia I used to go to mass on a Sunday morning and then immediately after it was over, I’d jump into my car and drive into Sydney City centre where I’d attend a pentecostal service! Why?

Simply because dead masses are mostly attended by the living dead and if you talk about Jesus or the Holy Spirit afterwards they’ll look at you like you are a psychiatric patient who sneaked out of your padded cell during the night. The reality is that you are not mad, but they are dead!!

And so with my pentecostal brothers and sisters I could talk about Jesus, danse and sing for Jesus and share amazing community!

Many of my dead Catholics friends would wonder what I was doing with these heretics. But when I prayed about it I heard the Holy Spirit say to me

‘What is better, a broken down Mercedes benz or a nifty sports car ‘?!!

You see, being Catholic isn’t about what we believe, even the devil and the satanists believe in the real presence of Jesus in the eucharist (they even pay for consecrated hosts… They have such’ faith’.

No, being Catholic is about how we live what we believe, how we live holy lives, how we love Jesus and Mary and the sacraments. How we pray, how we respect the teaching of the Church and strive to live Holy lives. How we desire to bring others to Jesus and to His real presence remembering that Jesus is not a kill joy, Jesus is joy itself and truly knowing Jesus is the most amazing experience that you can ever have!

And so to finish. Let’s transform the Catholic Church by transforming our hearts. Let us no longer receive Jesus without confession and without getting to know more and more about Him and His desires to bring us to full life. Let’s get to know our God, our church, our faith, our healer.. . Our Jesus!

May our church be transformed from a ‘dying man’s’ house 

Into the true centre of love, healing, hope and mercy that Jesus and Mary desire it to be!

No more dead masses please but life, life, and more life through the merciful transformational  love of the Holy Spirit!!

Pray for Our priests, that those who have strayed may find their way back, for persevernce and strength for the Holy ones and for young men filled with the fire of the Holy Spirit to heal our church and world!!

Thanks for reading!