Hi folks!

This morning’s blog is on a subject that I know nothing about and yet a lot about its effects. No, it’s not about childbirth or winning the lottery, it’s about drugs!

As english is my first language I began learning irish when I started school at 5 years old! Ironically my first teacher is now a great prayer friend and I send her this blog!!

As we learnt irish we’d have to write essays such as ‘fadhbanna na drugaí do dhaoine óga in Éireann” (the problem of drugs for young people in Ireland).

For anyone who thinks the irish language is just english with a twist, now you know it’s not!

As I was good at languages I wrote good essays and got good marks. But in reality I knew nothing about drugs. I haven’t been an angel in life but I can truthfully say that I never touched a drug, not even weed which is hardly considered a drug anymore.

I certainly have my parents to thank for this. They didn’t either drink alchohol or smoke and so I grew up totally protected from the world in which I often find myself in the middle of now!

Despite Dublin being known for its drug problem, I managed to get through 3 years of university before seeing a drug!

However, year 4 would be a crash course as I was to share a flat with Simon!

Simon didn’t just take drugs. Simon took every drug on the planet! From the weed he got in amsterdam to the lines of coke with vodka and redbull to the ectasy to the magic mushrooms he went to pick on a Saturday morning!

I’m sure I must have been half high at times as I cooked my dinner in the fog…I call it ‘wog” from weed!

Drugs aside I got on well with Simon. I was always the type to talk to anyone if they were nice and not judge!

Now years later I am sharing an apartment with a recovered drug addict and am constantly in contact with people on drugs!

Just last night I met a guy who has spent €600 on cocaine over the last 3 days! Super nice guy, just lost!

A lot of guys I know smoke weed for anxiety. If you sit down and listen to their life stories, your heart would break!

A few months ago after a night of evangelisation I ended up at 7 in the morning at an afterparty where everybody was high as a kite!

Why the Holy Spirit brought me there I wondered. If the police came what would I say!

As the only person not on drugs it was weird. There were about 7 or 8 people, each in a little world of his own dansing like someone…on drugs!!

Most were too out of it to talk to me except one guy who was intrigued with my life and spirituality!

I got home the next day at 11. I was tired. I talked it over with Seamus who laughed at my innocense! He’s like a mentor to me when it comes to meeting peope from the world of drugs and homosexuality!

Yet, every person I meet, Jesus gives me a heart for and I only feel God’s love and mercy!

Recently I am bringing some of the people I meet to our local adoration chapel!

Some catholics get afraid. I guess they are not used to this world and I find myself like a referee at a soccer match!

This morning after mass a beautiful lady with an alcohol addiction hugged me and sang me a song after I gave her 20 kuna and a miraculous meddle!

Granted singing “baby blue eyes” in the middle of the church may not have been liturgically appropriate but the way another lady scolded her lacked any sensitivity and caused her to get worse! The lady was subsequently entertained by a rock song dedicated especially to her!

I exploded laughing at the lot of it! What can I do? Jesus loves both of them, just an utter breakdown of understanding!

And so whether the drug is alchohol or cocaine or weed or sex, we are called not to judge!

My advise to you is to invite these people for a coffee. They are desperately seeking love and acceptance!

Be humble, listen and pray! Don’t be like a custom’s officer in plain clothing or an under-cover detective with a rosary beads!

Pray that these people experience Jesus and that His love becomes their new drug and in the meantime thank God for your life, for your family and upbringing that allowed you to avoid falling into the terrible hole of addiction!

Bless you all!

Sometimes I reflect on how God guides us even when we didn’t know him!

Here is a funny reflection, afterwards you can perhaps make your own!

I have one older brother and when I was a child we were so different. He was calm and relaxed and liked home and the local sports, football and hurling (and for our american readers hurling is not vomiting, that part comes the day after the game).

I was always wild, jumping on beds and breaking them, playing tricks on everyone and if the car was started, my shoes were on and I was going!

From the earliest of ages travel and languages fascinated me and the irish countryside was like an anesthetic to my soul!

My parents were very quiet good people. They drove me mad and I drove them mad!

And so I was about 9 and I wanted to learn to cycle. The problem was that my older brother Senan couldn’t cycle and wasn’t too motivated to learn! It was out of the question that I’d get a bike before him…..family politics

Sometimes I wished I could get a fire cracker and stick it up his backside and light it to motivate him! He was relaxed and put quite simply I was not!

Eventually Senan got a bike! That evening I cried and cried. As a child I had too much energy, I couldn’t contain it and it turned inwards into very bad moods and wishing I was dead.

After a week of sulking and crying my parents caved in and got me a bike! It was black and cool and on the side said “wild cat”!!

Ironically around the same time I got a kitten and he was as quiet as a mouse!

As I think of it now I laugh!

A few weeks ago somebody who was praying for me got an image of a wild desert cat!

Wild cats live in the desert surrounded by all sorts of dangers. Food is scarce and they have to learn to survive in the most adverse of conditions!

Then my head flashed back to Australia where one person described me as being like a mongoose!

A momgoose is also a wild creature who lives in the desert who has quick reflexes and can even kill a cobra. Here is the video!

Anyway, the point I’m making is that often our childhoods are so revelatory of who we really are and often as we look back we can see God’s sense of humour written all over them!

So today, seems like I’m God’s wild cat!!

What about you? Take a moment with God and allow Him to smile on you and on the unique way that He made you!

Hello all!

Twelve years ago I began seeing demons. In dreams and visions Jesus began to show me not to be afraid and to trust in Him!

Bit by bit He began to reveal to me how they work and the spiritual rules that give them access to souls. Then he began to show me how to get rid of them, out of myself first and then out of others!

Like anything, you get used to it and it becomes routine!

Over the years I’ve come to learn how much confusion there is in this area!

Deliverance etc. is a calling, a gifting or charism. You don’t get involved in this area out of choice but rather out of calling!

Anyone involved in this area must pray a lot. You don’t just pray with people when you feel like it. You pray with the people Jesus sends you when He has prepared you!

A lot of prayer goes in before praying with people. Often Jesus takes 3 to 5 hours to prepare me before I pray during which time suffering reparation is needed to break the power of ancestral curses etc.

For whatever reason I see and feel the presence of demons. This has never bothered me but what has hurt is people saying that I was both crazy and lazy for not having paid employment or for not being a priest!

Some people aren’t aware that Jesus can give lay people a charism of deliverance or exorcism which is not the same thing as an exorcism nor does it replace one.

Over the years I have worked and prayed with a lot of deliverance and exorcist priests. I have a sensitivity that they didn’t have, they had the priesthood that I didn’t have!

Some people think it’s prideful for me to talk so openly about my charisms, I think it’s factual!

We live in a world where people are looking for healing. Yoga gurus and new age masters have no problem advertising their gifts, so why aren’t we as christians walking out boldly in ours!

Jesus was not shy in the area of exorcism. He frightened the life out of the people as He drove the demons into the pigs. Others screamef and roared and dropped to the floor almost dead!

Some of these things happen as the kingdom of light meets the kingdom of darkness. In a world of atheism what better way to educate people a little and give them a holy fear of God and the kingdom of darkness!

Of course some will disagree with me and refuse to believe that what I am doing is from God and point out all my faults and failings!

Yet I can take refuge in the knowledge that Jesus himself wasn’t accepted and despite many trials, 12 years of doing this stuff I’m alive and kicking!

But make no mistake about it. The greatest obstacle to the Holy Spirit comes from the utter lack of education and information in this area.

The majority of simple ordinary good-living catholics know nothing about these things because they have never been taught.

I thank God for the 3 years I spent with the pentecostals in Australia who have several international healing ministeries in these areas

– Ellel ministeries

http://ellel.org

– Elijah House minesteries

https://elijahhouse.org

– Dayspring school of supernatural ministeries

https://dssm.life

– Desert Streams ministeries

https://desertstream.org

Theophostic ministries

http://www.transformationprayer.org

Victorious Ministry Through Christ

http://www.vmtc.org.au

……to name but a few.

Sadly I never saw a catholic ministry as the bishops block them under the name of ‘prudence’!

Personally I don’t see it as prudent leaving millions of catholics in the dark while psyhiatric wards are full of people needing Jesus.

I’m not sure how I’d explain that one to God on judgement day! I’d be afraid He’d send me to hell, purple hat and all!

So anyway, back to what I was saying! The Holy Spirit is very creative and not even purple hats can block him!

Today He calls us to have no fear and to boldly and wisely using the gifts and charisms He has given us to build up the body of Christ!

Praise you Jesus!

Good morning world!

This morning it’s pouring rain here in Split! Memories of growing up in Ireland come back.

Irish people hate the rain, yet talking about it is a national sport!

Last night we had a little prayer meeting at our house. Seamus had a vision of Jesus giving me an enormous lance with flames of fire and the Lord using me to cut through the coldest hearts.

Part of me was hoping for a different vision, like a big happy family of love with no more problems!

Alas, Jesus reminds me that I am in a war and that heaven is not on this side of death!

It would seem that God didn’t call me ‘Michael’ for no reason and despite my small size and sensitive nature He has given me a strength and thirst for justice that takes no prisoners!

Some of course think that this is unholy of me because I don’t lick anybody’s boot no matter if they are a priest or a bishop or even the pope!

God has given me a prophetic gift. After 10 seconds in a person’s company I can see more than if I had been their psychiatrist for years!

I sense the presence of demons like a trained dog sniffs out drugs!

But I do have a fault! So often fear of leaders has kept me from prophetising to them, especially when what I get from God is not flattering!

Sadly God is disgusted and appalled at most of the leaders in the Church who have let Satan take over in the spirit of “being nice”!

It would seem that if Satan knocked on the door that he should be welcomed in! He doesn’t like Jesus so we should stop preaching the gospel! The rosary is bad for his ears so we should not say it out of charity. His feelings get hurt when we talk about sins so we should abolish this!

Satan likes luxury and fine wines and to be worshipped so we should build him a big palace like the ones most bishops live in including the one here in Split!

Satan hates the poor. All contact with the poor should be strictly avoided!

Satan loves sex. Turn on the TV, bring on the pornography. God will understand!

And so you see, Satan rules many a so called catholic family and many a church and diocese!

To say anything is considered to be a lack of respect for authority and a sin of disobedience!

Nevertheless, our first obedience is to our bapstism and our conscience and not even the pope himself can refute this!

And so I ponder on the vision I got last night and wonder how God will use me in this coming week to preach and share the truth and to boldly refute error!

I’ll keep you posted!!

My first experience of meeting a transgender person was when I was 19!

It was summer and I was working in New York! As I think about it, it’s true that in a short life I’ve been all over the world!

At the time nobody knew I was gay. I was terrified and as far as I was concerned nobody would ever. It was a secret I planned on bringing to the grave, not so much because of being gay, but because of the social rejection gays experience.

As I look back I had very good reason to be afraid. The rejection I’ve faced and other gay guys too has been enormous. I still suffer with anxiety because of it.

But back to New York. There was a man who was becoming a woman and in the store where we worked we’d all laugh and mock and do impressions. Names such as “the he-she” flew about with as much testosterone as possible.

Never for a moment did we consider this person’s life or feelings. He was scum!

My second experience was 10 years later. I was in a religious community in the capital city of Australia, Canberra.

I arrived in Canberra on Feb. 14th 2012 from India where I had spent 6 months. I still remember that journey and the tears I cried. I don’t know if I can convey to any of you the terrible lonliness of travelling alone and the even more terrible fear of rejection as you touch down in a foreign land with no money and wait the question “what’s your story?”

I arrived in Sydney on Tuesday. A lady called Maureen collected me from the airport and I stayed at her house that night. Next day she put me on the bus to Camberra. It took about 3 hours.

A few days later there was a fancy dress party. One man was dressed with some women’s clothes. I wasn’t sure if it was part of the fancy dress or the expression of more.

As the months went by it became clear that there was no place for me in that religious community where talking about sexuality and demons was not allowed. The superiour, a well known charismatic priest in Australia looked at me like a mental patient. People like me feel everything.

The months also saw a change in this man. He began to dress more and more as a woman, even to mass and doing his own hair and makeup didn’t help. I’ve seen old ladies in nursing homes with parkinson’s sydrome doing a better job!

Anyway, we learnt that this man was now becoming a woman and if I’m honest I judged him and joined in on the squad of accusation and condemnation.

And now, 7 years later I have met the third transgender person. I didn’t know at the start. I just met this young guy who was super sensitive, suicidal, seeking god and misunderstood!

It was like looking at a younger version of myself and Jesus gave me a love and desire to help him immediately.

Only a few days later did he tell me his secret! I didn’t care!

Has it taken Jesus 17 years to transform the LGBT- hating Michael in New York to the LGBT loving Michael in Croatia?

It seems so!

And so I ask myself and you some questions:

Why has been raised catholic filled me with so much fear?

Why is the religion of love so often the religion of fear?

Today I continue to follow Jesus and reach out to the broken of the broken. Many times I cry at the lack of help from my fellow catholics and yet I understand that just like I was full of fear at 19, so too are many of them.

Today I invite you to opening your hearts even more. I invite you to praying for me and what I’m doing with my friend Seamus. I invite you to pray that Jesus sends us the right people and spiritual director and I invite you to helping us financially if you can.

God bless you all, God bless LGBT

http://www.gofundme.com/pb7xn-house-of-love

Hello world,

Here is my friend Seamus’ testimony story. Please don’t judge, it takes enormous courage to write so openly and vulberably. May God use it to reach out to those lost like he was and bless him for his courage!

My Story. The truth.

Oh lord and my beautiful Father in the heavens. As I sit here in my local coffee bar, places the holy spirit often sends me. I sit around the youth, the future of our broken and sinking church. I cant help but feel their empty and sad lives. Lives without the gifts and charisms of the Holy Spirit and his superior healing powers. Their empty monotonous lives without Jesus. I was one of them after all and have empathy for them and a love for them through Jesus’s eyes.
As I reflect through a very tough and trying week spiritually and physically in my own healing and growth from horrible attacks and persecutions from friends in Ireland God is preparing me to go back with no fear, confidence, trust and complete holy boldness in what we are doing.
Considering it has only been 4 years since my conversion it is so awesome and miraculous to look back and see the full glory of God in my life at work.

I have been struggling all my life to accept the fact I have been born with homosexual tendencies. I have known from the age of 5 years old. What a very young age to discover this and try to deal with it. I had strong feminine characteristics in my youth. I even had a very high pitched voice. This got me called names like girly girl, woman, sissy and freak etc. I had these awful names and faced extreme bullying from I was 7 years old right up until I was 20 years old. I never felt like I fitted in anywhere. I had a complex and awkward way of fitting into various social groups. Due to this extreme bullying and not fully accepting my sexuality I became a mad over exaggerated caricature of myself and I hid behind this mask of people pleasing and wanting acceptance for most of my life.

Unfortunately this way of acting and behaviour lead me further away from the truth and the church. The wanting to be loved and hunger for acceptance in social circles lead me into a web of total self destruction. In my later teens I had become so depressed with suppressing my sexuality and my true self, the only way I felt that I could fit in was smoking weed at work with other people who felt the same as me. This was the start of my downward spiral into the world of drugs and sexual promiscuity.

I had already experienced masturbation from the age of 8 and was already fantasising about being with men from that age. It continued right up until my 30’s. I had already tasted the forbidden fruit.
This over exposure to a fanatical sexual imagination made me want to have sex with a man in reality. So already I was a sexual addict at an early age. A lot to deal with as I was an early teen masturbating at least 3-4 times a day. Obsessive behaviour for someone so young. Satan had his paws on me and kept them there for a long time.

So my thirst for sexual encounters grew. I wanted desperately to meet someone. It was hard to meet other gay guys at this stage of my life as not many gay guys in my area where exactly shouting they were gay. I lived in a small town and no one ever came out and stayed put. They moved to the city or left the country. I knew that once I was older I wanted so badly to come out and move away to somewhere like San Francisco or Machester places I knew that where gay capitols and places I knew I would be accepted.

So after many trials and tribulations on gay chat and date phone lines I was already planning to meet someone for a sexual encounter. I was very much excited and the thoughts of sin were far from my heart and mind. I did fond a man an older guy on the chat line. I was 17 and already had his phone number. It was long before gay social media on the web and smartphones. I only heard this mans voice and didn’t know what he looked like.

After a long pause of a week I decided to text this man. He was older than me. I was 17 and he was 38. I liked the idea of him being older. I felt like I had no older brother to look up to or communicate with and my relationship with my dad was very distant because he wanted me to be a clone of him. A boxer a footballer and macho. These were so far from the timid guy I was. This kept me and my father at arms length. This guy could help me gill this emptiness as he was older masculine and sporty. So he told me. I managed to go to meet him. I escaped my home and my parents always asked where I was going. I managed to lie and say I was going into town. I got the bus and was already feeling shame and guilt fill my heart and over anxious mind. I had told lies and was going to meet an older man for sex. Was I actually going to do this? Im going to meet a total stranger for sex? This is mad mad?! I got off the bus and I was 20 miles from home. I never lied like that before. He told me to meet him at his clothing store. My heart was racing and I couldn’t breath. I was outside the shop. I went in and in my nervousness I asked for bus times back to my town. He answered there is a timetable next door. I left. I got a text from him saying was I the guy with the red hair asking about buses? ( i died my hair to stand put more and be different.)I said yes. He said wow you are hot and please wait we can have fun. I was so ashamed and guilty I never replied and got on the next bus home.

This worry and fear didn’t last long. A short time later I had a sexual experience at 17 with a guy I knew. We met at a party and left in his car and the rest is history. I was launched into the world of gay sex. I was then catching buses to Belfast regular to the gay clubs and the cruising areas near by. I was having sex every weekend with regularly with different men. I was introduced to poppers a sex enhancing drug and got addicted to that. I was so addicted to that drug I couldn’t masturbate without it. Then pornography became an issue in my student days and poppers were a heavy used substance.

By the time I was 21 I was heavily into porn, men, sex and cruising. I was living the lifestyle I dreamed of. I was a sexually liberated male with no responsibilities and I was free as a bird or so I thought. I had come out as being gay to my friends at 20 and later told my parents at 21. They actually were fantastic. My mum went to a Priest and with todays shocking state of most priests and church his reply was refreshing and Jesus like. He said your child hasn’t got cancer or a life threatening illness, so its not the end of the world. My dads was actually a surprise too. He just hugged me and said you are still my son and I love you. So a week later after feeling like the only Gay in the village I packed my bags and moved to San Francisco.
It was in San Francisco I became introduced to the world of Gay Saunas. These were places that gay men came to have sex and also mix with other Gay men. They aren’t all sex mad perverts that I thought. I did meet some of the most caring, kind and gentle of souls in these places.

I so desperately wanted to stay In San Francisco but unfortunately a recession hit and work was tough I left and went back home. I stayed for a short time and later moved to Manchester to follow my dream of becoming an actor and entertainer. I was thirsty for more approval and love as I thought because I was Gay I was a disappointment to my family. I was actually very good at acting and got accepted into a very good acting school. I had the talent and dedication and left with a BA Hons in Acting. I was a professional Actor on paper. I had lived out my dream. Although drama school was tough so I did fall back into drugs, gay saunas, lots of poppers and porn and lots of sexual partners and sometimes unsafe sex. Its a miracle I never contracted a disease. So after a long stint of sex and drugs I took a huge breakdown and had to come home. My dream of making it big as an actor had been shattered. I was an absolute mess.
After long strenuous and deep counselling sessions in Ireland I was still using. Although functioning to a point. I got my old job back in the factory I worked at before leaving for England. I was still heavily involved in sex more. I was using my smartphone to access local gay guys and inviting them over for sex everyday. This world of gay sex was becoming as normal to me as having a cigarette. I was in way over my head and couldn’t stop it if I tried.

I was now 34 and at a crossroads in my life I was so alone and depressed, anxious, filled with fear, lonely and had no love. Every encounter with these men made me feel worse than before but my need for sex increased. I was addicted to the company and sex was the catalyst. Where was I. This dream was an illusion and wrapped like a perfect gift. A very huge and overwhelming deception. All of this and my deep routed traditional catholic fear rose to the surface as I searched online for answers. Unfortunately I started to read the wrong literature online from religious fanatics that it pushed me over the edge. I wanted to kill myself so much. I even said this to my dad and younger sister. Good love them they said to me stop talking like that and never say that again. They were filled with fear and didn’t realise that talking about it is actually a step into healing. I didn’t know where to turn I felt so lost and confused. I had another breakdown this time huge.
My grand mother had recently passed away she lived with us from we were kids. She was a second mother to us and she had huge love and respect for us. I loved her dearly. She always said to me that If we ever have a problem to call on Mary our mother in heaven and she will help more than any human can. I laughed at this fairy-tale idea at the start. Now this was like my last and only remedy left to try. What had I got to lose? I was dancing with death. After being taken to a priest with my extreme worries and fear about going to hell for being gay and shame etc. This beautiful priest calmed me down. He gave me a rosary from Lourdes an apparition I was fond of from a young age. I started saying the rosary every day that evening. Something happened when I touched them. I felt an overpowering motherly protection when I began using them and a euphoric peace I found in drugs but more of a supernatural sense. I even sensed perfume and the sweet scent of roses. I was addicted to Marys rosary and God helped me haha. I was reading about here everywhere in books online etc. Fatima I loved too. I even did the Saint Louis de Montfort 30 day total consecration to Mary. It was during this time I went to Adoration everyday and got the grace to go to confession. I was hungry to go to Medjugorje after reading Fr Slavcos book pray with the heart. It was sitting on my seat when I entered the adoration chapel in my parish. Was this a sign from the virgin? I wanted to go so after praying for a picture of her that I wanted from her, I received a huge picture of her Immaculate heart a few days after I asked her. So I plucked up the courage to ask her to take me to Medjugorje. So I waited on the virgin like a little boy waiting on his mother to say yes to go to the local disco. I went to mass later that same day or shortly after and to my amazement not only was it the feast of the Immaculate heart of Mary the priest was wearing vestments with Our Lady of Medjugorje on the front of it. I knew this was her yes. I was falling deeply in love with her love for me. I started going to mass regularly at my local parish and I began to sit at the back after a short while there I began feeling the urge to sit at the front. I know this was Mary my pushy and loving mother. After a while I began to visit the Priest who wore the vestments. He not only became a dear friend and mentor he ended up taking me to Medjugorje a few months later.
I finally got to Medjugorje and I just knew it in my heart that I had to go. It was there I felt Our Lady touch me and speak to me on apparition hill. All of my fears, worries, anxieties, addictions seemed to have vanished. I came down that hill filled with the Holy Spirit. I had been given a miraculous healing and a second chance in life. I even said to Our lady can I help bring souls here to you so you can lead them and bring them to Jesus? I didn’t realise how powerful and meaningful this prayer would become in the future.

After this wonderful time in Medjugorje I was on fire with the love of God and filled with the Spirit of God. I went back to my parish and God used me as a little light. I became a Eucharistic minister after receiving a vision of it in prayer then I was asked. No surprise as these little confirmations and miracles became so normal that i found it weird if they did not happen. It was not even a month later that I was asked by my local parish priest who had taken me to Medjugorje would I like to be a group leader and help him bring pilgrims to Medjugorje. Of course this was Marys plan I had been given a special gift in Medjugorje that I feel her telling me and communicating her ideas with me. This would grow enormously over the years and be the cause of many of my close spiritual friends thinking I am a mental case and cookoo.

After a few years leading groups and not having as much sexual falls into sin. Mainly because my traditional friends and that evil spirit of Traditional Catholicism. Which is good disguised as masonry. Its like a weight of suppression and fear. My friends enslaved by this fear influenced me to stay away from them gays you will only be lead to damnation and sin by them. I never felt comfortable with this demanding and loveless command. Its not living your neighbour is it?

I spent the next few years praying for Our Lady to explain Homosexuality to me and mention it in her Medjugorje messages. Well these prayers were answered in the style of my mother who is the Queen of heaven after all. But she is an exorcist, fierce, terrifying to demons, she will stamp Satan with her heel and send him to hell once and for all. This is my mother wow! I love her so much and I am coming to know her more because of my ever growing prayer life and daily communication with her. So I go to Medjugorje last year for a month and my God did my mother call me with a cliff-hanger. About 2 weeks in Jesus comes to me in a vision in Gold more extraordinary like any picture his hair was better groomed than any hair stylist could manage. He was more attractive than any male I had ever been attracted to. My attraction was above sexuality it was in a pure and holy way. He came off the alter and walked straight down to me I was overwhelmed and in tears. He spoke oh my God I melted. Oh he is beyond our human comprehension for once I can not say what or how else I can put this to paper. He said “ I choose you my special and anointed servant. You are my John. I choose you. Will you accept this cross?” He took a large golden and beautiful golden cross and it was covered in a brilliant light even jewels were shining in its brilliance. I was captivated beyond belief. I of course said yes I love Jesus. He makes it impossible to day no. But I did joke with my one and only true best friend we have that relationship. I told him to hurry up and give me the cross because it means a lot of suffering. He laughed so hard that tears ran down his face. He has a great sense of humour. What a friend that was God and became man so he could die so we could live? In what other religion did God become human and be nailed to a cross and be humiliated in such a way and die? This goes beyond our humanity and way of thinking how dare I say no. I couldn’t. Then I heard a voice later that week telling me to leave Ireland, leave my good comfortable job, my friends and my family! What? No way Jesus this is too much I just got my life in order and now you want this?

Ok I said. If this is from you then give me confirmation. He did boy does he deliver. Jesus is cool as a cucumber when it comes to catching your heart. I ran into a young and beautiful man Michael Moloney on cross mountain. He was like an angel. He had a supernatural glow about him. I knew he had a sensitivity and gay tendencies my spirit can sense it. I wanted to meet this guy. You never meet other Gay guys in Medjugorje. I met him on my last day of course. He asked me to join him for coffee. I did. He immediately opened up to me about homosexuality and his brush with the church, suicide etc. Then he shocked me with a message from Jesus. He said Seamus you need to leave Ireland and everything behind I hear Jesus voice and Our Lady strongly telling you to leave Ireland and everything behind and come back out to Medjugorje. I did. I am glad because it has changed my life. Jesus also told me that I would lose friends and they would become Jealous and hate what I am doing. It happened I had to give them up I cant take them on this journey as they are attachments. This is why I no longer use Facebook and have healthy contact and boundaries with my family. This life is extreme and radical so was the lives of Jesus, Mary and the saints. Our lady then came to me in a vision at the blue cross in Medjugorje I will never forget it. I had an out of the body experience. I heard her voice plain as day and continue to hear it daily for direction. She said this “ Seamus my chosen soul and my special child. This is the church today( i see the church represented as a beautiful and large cross emulating a beautiful and supernatural light with colours not from this earth. It opened and to my horror all wicked spirits of all kinds flew out of it. Also all kinds of snakes, spiders and scorpions all kinds crawled out. It was disgusting. I felt our Holy Mothers immense sorrow at that moment as she continued.) It is in a worse state a state like the world has never seen. Seamus will you help me heal and fix the church of my Son? “ I immediately said yes. From that moment I completely gave my mother and Jesus control of my life. I know live under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I was asked by Jesus to live on divine providence.

I live with Michael and we have been living a life of purity, prayer, reparation and evangelisation. We feel guided strongly to reach out to the Gay community. With Gods great blessings we have gained support from various priests and religious, made friends with a local charismatic community and have become members. We feel that a small community is growing from our home here where we have sheltered and look after a young transgender boy. We calked our home hose of love because we want young people like him to experience a life of prayer, acceptance, love, purity and Jesus.
I feel that the church needs to change her attitude towards the LBGT community. It doesn’t say in the catechism that they need an exorcism or that they can be cured. We are all called to chastity Gay or straight. With love, community and support from church and church community this can be possible and achievable. This is why my calling is making sense and this is a message of hope to all. God bless us all. Amen

If you would like to help fund our mission you can do so through our gofund page

http://www.gofundme.com/bridge-of-love

Last night somebody asked me why do I care and waste so much energy on LGBT issues in the church.

As I reflect this morning, the question pops into my head, why do others not? Why did Jesus bother to die, if he kept his big mouth shut and was a ‘good boy’ he wouldn’t have got killed!

Another person told me that I scare people! I didn’t think I was that ugly and haloween is over!

Yet; it’s not the first time I’ve heard it!

Spirituality scares people, the unknown scares them and if they were honest with themselves, gays scare them!

Since living in Croatia it has been extremely difficult to get any real support for helping LGBT people in the church.

Sadly the national catholic charismatic leader pretty much accused me of being a heretic. Afterwards Jesus fed him with some humble pie as he read the catechism! I’m still waiting on an apology from him and his wife!

Still, if the national leader doesn’t know or show an interest in helping LGBT people then I guess the others are to be pitied!

As I came home from a prayer meeting late, poor Toni had been waiting. He had a hard day and I couldn’t help seeing that how he was locked out of the apartment was like how he was locked out of the church.

I held him for 2 hours before the panic attack and demons left him alone…

So, why do I care? Because before it was me. Those who don’t care have never had a nervous breakdown. They have never cried themselves to sleep begging God that they won’t commit suicide. They have not been rejected by family and church because of their sexuality.

And so today, Jesus looks to us all and he asks us

‘Will you serve?”

Some will open their hearts generously while others will once again scream

‘I will not serve” just like Satan their father.

Jesus desires a church for the broken and humble leaders willing to walk in the fire of controversy for his sake.

So…

“Will you serve?”

Hello all!

This morning I’ll share with you my only claim to fame! Yes, appearing on national Australian TV where I was ridiculed for talking about my sexuality and God’s call to purity through the power of the Holy Spirit!

The interview was done in good faith but the TV show (abc news) twisted it!

Notice how the final judgement is given to professionals.

No offense to any professionals, but a professional clown at the circus would know more about Jesus and the Holy Spirit than most of these people!

The entire interview was twisted. The ministry never claimed to turn gay men straight, but rather to bring them out of a life of sex and lust and into a personal relationship with Jesus and life of purity.

Sadly this interview had a devastating effect on the ministry which the parent church pretty much shut down out of fear of being sued!

Some time later I had another major breakdown, the lack of love and support from the church and family meant I couldn’t cope.

So many christians are living in fear; fear of being homophobic, fear of being sued, fear of bishops who are often freemasons and don’t give a damn about Jesus or purity!

And so, God calls us to be bold and to boldly proclaiming the truth even if it costs us our reputation, family, country…

And so very simply, God loves LGBT people and through prayer and christian community is calling them to purity!

Have no fear folks and open wide your hearts to shamelessly speaking of the existance and power of the Holy Spirit to change all lives.

Jesus, deliver us from fear!

https://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2013-07-30/christian-agay-conversion-programs-continue-in-australia/4854580

Good morning!

It’s a beautiful cold and crispy Monday morning here in Split! It’s almost hard to think that this is the same place that was thronged with tourist in a hot summer sun just recently….perhaps it’s not called “Split for nothing”!

So last week was cool and helping Toni has been great. Thank you to all who have helped us and thank’s for nothing for those who haven’t! However, there is still time!!

Anyway, on another note last week I also got “let go” from my job. “Let go”, “fired”, “sacked”…whatever word I use it amounts to the same thing!

However I won’t be having a nervous breakdown or jumping out of a window about it! From experience they don’t work so I’ll simply turn to God and poke some fun at the situation!

This short work month certainly showed me some of the conflicts people face in terms of their faith!

It seems that while you won’t be sacked directly because of your faith, in a round about way it can happen!

From word go my boss, an australian croatian made no attempt to hide her hatred for the catholic church and when I shared my story with her she tried to convince me that I was hallucinating!

This type of intolerance and arrogance is sad and pathetic really and yet what do you do?

Of course I wasn’t sacked because I’m the catholic gay irush guy that hears Jesus and sees spirits! No! My accent was too difficult for the students with whom I failed to build a rapport!!

I had no problem building a rapport with the students who were nice, it was building a rapport with staff void of personalities that was the difficult bit!

Of course it would have been nice to get fired in person but they deemed best to send me an e-mail which in the context of building “a rapport” speaks volumes!

That said, some days I was tired and had a lot on my mind with helping young Toni who was struggling with suicide and perhaps it affected my work too!

However, overall the experience reminded me of how cold and mean the workplace can be, of the hatred of God and Church in the secular world and of the general lack of love or interest in staff!

And so folks, I thank God for this short experience and I pray for all of you in difficult work situations where your faith seems to clash with your work!

Anyway, onwards and upwards! Please continue the prayers for Toni who is doing so much better and that Jesus may continue to bless us all with peace, love and truth!

Hi world,

A few days ago I wrote about Toni, a young guy who Jesus put on my path.

I prayed with him and welcomed him to stay at our apartment on the sofa. In a short period the transformation has been incredible.

He writes a lot about how I have helped him, and it’s true, however, the real hero of the story is Jesus and all the prayer friend and community that He puts around me.

Here is what he wrote to share yesterday:

Toni’s story

“My mother got divorced when I was 2 years old.
I’m inviting you to look through my eyes – to see my grandmothers back yard getting further from me as my mother drags me by my shirt inside the big village house that is my home, for being stubbornly disobedient. I’m four and as I see, I hear: “granny help!”.

My arms are trying to reach her but I know it’s too late.
Nothing too bad is going to happen, but I hate being hit because I don’t know how to defend myself, since I’m rarely that way. I’m a good kid and my family loves me. I have a happy childhood and my family is growing bigger.

When i was ten years old my mother remarried and we moved to Split.
Today, 12 years later, my mother had said to me that my grandmother told her she still prays the rosmary every day for me.

As life progressed, bad stuff started to happen, demons started attaching. From my father going too deep into evil side of spirituality, communicating with demons being tricked by them calling themselves “good demons”, to me abusing drugs and alcohol to get away from the house they made me call home.

Life went on, stuff got worse. I’m transgender and was abused for all and that as well for 10 years.

Then in the year 2017, after running away from home I ended up in the mental hospital, psychotherapy ward – four diagnoses, eleven tablets a day, intense schedule…all to stop me from wanting to kill myself.
That was 15 months ago.

I liked the hospital, I was safe and free, positive and with God. Through all of 22 years that I’ve been living my life, I’ve felt God over me.
But, the thing with the hospital was, they couldn’t detain my spirit. I was having fun while getting full treatment, demons made me be disobedient, smoke weed and drink (in the hospital chugging 11 tablets a day!!!), I was hanging with the bad kids from other psychiatry wards, some more serious ones.
Maybe that’s why the psychotherapy treatment didn’t help me much.

Life did get okay, I succeeded to reach sober happiness for the first time in seven years. I even stopped drinking, though pot habit stayed…

But somehow life wasn’t going for the better and I was getting angry at God of all for some reason. Demons from my past grew bigger so subtly, in the end they made me drift from God the furthest I’ve ever been in my life, even though I had my first conversion at 17.

For years I have been praying to God, begging him not to ever let me leave that far so he can’t see me. He listened and saved me, because he sent me Michael.

In the middle of October this year I met Michael, right after the wound I got that brought it all back, the suicides, mania, depression.

When Mike and I met I was three days deep on the road to hell. My soul felt as if someone literally put a knife inside my body and ripped my chest open. I was in real physical pain.
Michael and I went on a coffee, he talked to me and I can see now the ways he made to get through to me, but I was way more messed up than he could say at that first impression.
That’s when he asked me to have him pray over me.

My demons were pretty big, I suppose since he couldn’t make me go to church to pray. We went to the park and having nothing to lose, at a total loss of emotion I said to God: “I trust, I gave up so I trust you with this guy” I wanted another reason to hate God. I couldn’t have known if Michael was there to kill me or save me, but I made the most important decision in my life of trusting God.

Michael prayed for a long time, I was empty of everything and the only thing I could feel was immense pain in my chest. It was there for three days straight already, nothing new. He prayed and prayed, calling God, angels, our Lady.

I was so sad. I’ve lost everything in a second and the pain was too high for me to understand everything he was saying.

I wanted to cry, but I taught myself not to. Boys don’t cry, right? I couldn’t even if I tried thought.

People were walking by, Mike’s hand on my head, hot sunny day. He’s still saying his prayer and by the time he’s finished I’m embarrassed.

A guy that met me two hours ago just spent so much of his energy to do something I couldn’t reach with my mind. Only then, I didn’t realise he wasn’t wasting his energy, he was healing me with love. That kind of love only a few can give, love from God.

Silence in my head disturbed the mess in me. I could hear birds singing. People were laughing with joy. And at that moment, realisation came over me – there was no more pain. I felt as if Michael took a huge bucket filled with warm ointment and poured it all over my soul and sore chest.
I was in awe. The pain was completely gone.

We met again over the course of couple of days, focusing on me.
From that moment on I knew, what ever happened and wherever he is I’ll always be a friend and a brother to Michael.
When I was convinced love was taken away from me and therefore God himself, he sent me the one to save me. A man can’t forget that.

Today, not even a month has passed after Mike and I have met.
He welcomed me into his home, introduced his friends to me and continues to heal me, alongside his best friends.

I don’t know much. It’s been hard, but I know to trust, and I trust God.
What I know today, is that I’ve made more progress in a month with Michael and his family then I have made in five months under pills; only with prayer, safe environment and support.

It’s not easy. I’ve got more stories, testimonies, but for now this is all you have to know. The point is believing.
And don’t forget; if you want to feel good, be and do good.

God with you all, your brother
Toni.”

We continue to need ongoing support, especially financually to continue to house Tony and eventually others like Toni.

Even if you can only donate the smallest amount, it all counts and we will continue to keep you updated with the progress!

https://www.gofundme.com/bridge-of-love