A few days ago I wrote about Toni, a young guy who Jesus put on my path.
I prayed with him and welcomed him to stay at our apartment on the sofa. In a short period the transformation has been incredible.
He writes a lot about how I have helped him, and it’s true, however, the real hero of the story is Jesus and all the prayer friend and community that He puts around me.
Here is what he wrote to share yesterday:
“My mother got divorced when I was 2 years old.
I’m inviting you to look through my eyes – to see my grandmothers back yard getting further from me as my mother drags me by my shirt inside the big village house that is my home, for being stubbornly disobedient. I’m four and as I see, I hear: “granny help!”.
My arms are trying to reach her but I know it’s too late.
Nothing too bad is going to happen, but I hate being hit because I don’t know how to defend myself, since I’m rarely that way. I’m a good kid and my family loves me. I have a happy childhood and my family is growing bigger.
When i was ten years old my mother remarried and we moved to Split.
Today, 12 years later, my mother had said to me that my grandmother told her she still prays the rosmary every day for me.
As life progressed, bad stuff started to happen, demons started attaching. From my father going too deep into evil side of spirituality, communicating with demons being tricked by them calling themselves “good demons”, to me abusing drugs and alcohol to get away from the house they made me call home.
Life went on, stuff got worse. I’m transgender and was abused for all and that as well for 10 years.
Then in the year 2017, after running away from home I ended up in the mental hospital, psychotherapy ward – four diagnoses, eleven tablets a day, intense schedule…all to stop me from wanting to kill myself.
That was 15 months ago.
I liked the hospital, I was safe and free, positive and with God. Through all of 22 years that I’ve been living my life, I’ve felt God over me.
But, the thing with the hospital was, they couldn’t detain my spirit. I was having fun while getting full treatment, demons made me be disobedient, smoke weed and drink (in the hospital chugging 11 tablets a day!!!), I was hanging with the bad kids from other psychiatry wards, some more serious ones.
Maybe that’s why the psychotherapy treatment didn’t help me much.
Life did get okay, I succeeded to reach sober happiness for the first time in seven years. I even stopped drinking, though pot habit stayed…
But somehow life wasn’t going for the better and I was getting angry at God of all for some reason. Demons from my past grew bigger so subtly, in the end they made me drift from God the furthest I’ve ever been in my life, even though I had my first conversion at 17.
For years I have been praying to God, begging him not to ever let me leave that far so he can’t see me. He listened and saved me, because he sent me Michael.
In the middle of October this year I met Michael, right after the wound I got that brought it all back, the suicides, mania, depression.
When Mike and I met I was three days deep on the road to hell. My soul felt as if someone literally put a knife inside my body and ripped my chest open. I was in real physical pain.
Michael and I went on a coffee, he talked to me and I can see now the ways he made to get through to me, but I was way more messed up than he could say at that first impression.
That’s when he asked me to have him pray over me.
My demons were pretty big, I suppose since he couldn’t make me go to church to pray. We went to the park and having nothing to lose, at a total loss of emotion I said to God: “I trust, I gave up so I trust you with this guy” I wanted another reason to hate God. I couldn’t have known if Michael was there to kill me or save me, but I made the most important decision in my life of trusting God.
Michael prayed for a long time, I was empty of everything and the only thing I could feel was immense pain in my chest. It was there for three days straight already, nothing new. He prayed and prayed, calling God, angels, our Lady.
I was so sad. I’ve lost everything in a second and the pain was too high for me to understand everything he was saying.
I wanted to cry, but I taught myself not to. Boys don’t cry, right? I couldn’t even if I tried thought.
People were walking by, Mike’s hand on my head, hot sunny day. He’s still saying his prayer and by the time he’s finished I’m embarrassed.
A guy that met me two hours ago just spent so much of his energy to do something I couldn’t reach with my mind. Only then, I didn’t realise he wasn’t wasting his energy, he was healing me with love. That kind of love only a few can give, love from God.
Silence in my head disturbed the mess in me. I could hear birds singing. People were laughing with joy. And at that moment, realisation came over me – there was no more pain. I felt as if Michael took a huge bucket filled with warm ointment and poured it all over my soul and sore chest.
I was in awe. The pain was completely gone.
We met again over the course of couple of days, focusing on me.
From that moment on I knew, what ever happened and wherever he is I’ll always be a friend and a brother to Michael.
When I was convinced love was taken away from me and therefore God himself, he sent me the one to save me. A man can’t forget that.
Today, not even a month has passed after Mike and I have met.
He welcomed me into his home, introduced his friends to me and continues to heal me, alongside his best friends.
I don’t know much. It’s been hard, but I know to trust, and I trust God.
What I know today, is that I’ve made more progress in a month with Michael and his family then I have made in five months under pills; only with prayer, safe environment and support.
It’s not easy. I’ve got more stories, testimonies, but for now this is all you have to know. The point is believing.
And don’t forget; if you want to feel good, be and do good.
God with you all, your brother
We continue to need ongoing support, especially financually to continue to house Tony and eventually others like Toni.
Even if you can only donate the smallest amount, it all counts and we will continue to keep you updated with the progress!