Lesson is learned when the class is finished. So taught me Mother Mary day after this Christmas.
She showed me very clearly how not alone I am, telling me about all the families I’ve been gifted with.
Even at my job, where I work six days a week as a bartender serving local people who have indeed become a part of my life. I know their struggles, their pain, their addictions.
Many of them have become good friends of mine but all of them have given up, being through war, divorces, finally finding comfort in alcohol and drugs. You’d think Satan himself made the place and is ruling, taking lives so easily.
Even this year before Christmas three people close to some regulars died. God showed me through multiple occasions the dysfunctionality of my work family. Keeping in mind i have grown fond of many people behind my bar, it is fairly difficult for me to accept that place is not good for my spirituality or health overall. I find it almost impossible to leave but God is showing me the importance of leaving all those people to Him, I am too weak to help.
Christmas Eve brought lots of suffering to me but it again brought me closer to Mother Mary.
After whole day of anger, confusion, sadness so heavy i almost forgot how it felt, frustration… Mother finally answered my questions of why was I suffering so much. It wasn’t an answer really but She showed me the path Herself and Joseph had to walk to bring Jesus safely to this world. It wasn’t nice and they were certainly sad, angry and lost.
I love Christmas, always have and to my question ‘what I give to Jesus as a present’ Mother gently reminded me of my new family and showed me the importance of giving presents to them in Jesus’s eyes. Giving them – Im giving Jesus.
So this Christmas, miraculously brought heavenly straight to me, God gave me everything I needed to make sure my family is taken care of.
It seems like I’m the only one who didn’t cry this Christmas and I’m grateful beyond words.
Mother Mary and I made a turkey (I can barely cook an egg!!!) and it was fantastic so I again thank Mother for making a meal for my family, especially such a tasty one!
On that Christmas Eve, Irena listened to my whining, listened to my anger towards God. She brought me to church, bought me food and her support brought some of the tastiness to that turkey! (Thanks for potatoes as well sister!) Seamus and Michael talked over with me about it all, they know so much more and their words and prayer gave me strength to get to Mother, hear her will and obey it. Their sacrifice made the turkey glow!
It is clear to me, that without their support and suffering for me I wouldnt be able to receive all that grace coming Christmas day!
Of course my efforts didn’t go unnoticed in Jesus’s eyes, I guess he liked his presents!
He answered my prayers and after a long talk with my grandmother whom I haven’t seen in two years, on Christmas day I get a call and an invitation to come to my first families house the day after, where my grandma, uncle, aunt and my little cousin are living! I was craving my grandmother so much, shes really spiritual and her sister is a nun! Aunt nun I call her my whole life and she doesn’t live near Split or the Village I was having lunch at that day after Christmas. I was missing her too, so much.
I got the best Christmas present of all and it was talking to my grandmother, and after all the talk of whats God been doing in my life I left her with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her face!
It didn’t surprise me all that much when I got a call from my aunt Nun telling me she too is at the village for the day.
All the support, prayers and financial help from my brothers Michael and Seamus and my sister Irena are making me grow in my faith, courage, self confidence and prayer. For the first time in my life I’m truly happy.
I want to especially thank all the readers of this cool blog that have been praying and donating, if it wasn’t for you we wouldn’t be able to have such a nice Christmas. In a way you’re my family too! Please keep the prayers coming, donations are greatly appreciated.
Above all I want to thank God for showing me that no matter how lost I get, he’ll always be there to find and love me!
So much love your way from me to you-
Your brother Toni.