Here I am writing a little sharing from home! Recently it has come to my attention that my blogs are both loved and hated! Loved by the broken and hated by the self-righteous but as Matthew 5 says
“Happy are you when people insult you and harass you and speak all kinds of bad and false things about you, all because of me.12 Be full of joy and be glad, because you have a great reward in heaven. In the same way, people harassed the prophets who came before you.”
So that aside, I will continue my little sharing!
As a little boy I was great friends with my Grandad. As my dad is also called Michael, I was called ‘little Michael’ and indeed little I was!
I was very small and has big ears so ‘big ears’ became my school name! I was very shy and was always one of the last to be picked on any team for sports. I was awkward around others and was afraid to talk to adults! I even remember peeing on the floor at school so terrified I was of asking the teacher to go to the toilet!
All of this is sort of funny now, but it does mark you!
The only thing that I was any good at was mathematics. I loved maths and maths loved me! I always got top of the class in maths and although I liked the achievement, I didn’t like the attention!
Once my name was on paper as I was selected for training for the irish maths Olympiad. I was mortified!
My parents were and still are very simple people and we never had any claim to fame!
I went to university in Dublin at 18. I was afraid to live with strangers as I had no confidence. They’d all be drinking and smoking and having sex and while I was 18, I looked as if I was 12 and had never as much as touched a drink or a cigarette. I barely knew what sex was!!
In summary, I was so little I was invisible and I was in no way cool in any way!!
I had few friends and nobody hardly knew my name until the end of year exam results were published and ‘little Michael’ was at the top!
Even that I didn’t care about. Worldly success was empty to me!
Maybe that’s why I got so depressed, life meant nothing to me, success meant nothing to me and the burning question “am I supposed to be a priest” haunted me!
Little Michael went on to qualify as actuary at an exceptionally young age. He had a big salary a big car and a very lonely heart!
Never would he have thought that Jesus would ever pick him for anything. He knew that he was small, weak and most incapable of holiness!
Today little Michael is writing this! He is accused of being prideful and seeking attention, he is even accused of following demons!!
Little Michael couldn’t care less about this blog or of worldly success or worldly ‘fruits’ but little Michael has been given a gift by Jesus to reach out to the world with his simplicity, honesty and brokenness.
Little Michael knows that many people do not like him and that many do not agree with him but little Michael has learnt obedience through suffering.
Today you too may be very little and invisible to the world and church but fear not! You are not invisible to Jesus!
Jesus has a big plan for you and wipes every tear that falls from your lonely heart!
He loves you and I love you because I know what it’s like to be little!
And so my ‘little friends’, let us ask our big sister in heaven, the ‘little flower’ (Saint Theresa) to hold our little hands and show us the way to heaven as the big people of this world trample on us!
Have a great day!