Well as you know I left Split a few days! Yes, we split from Split!
And now, here I am in the quiet mountainous region where my mother invited me!
I told her how much we were struggling and so she invited us home!
How nice it is to be surrounded by friendly faces, irish accents and hearing the sweet words “welcome home”!
Yes, I am home, here with my mother in Medjugorje!
I first heard of Medjugorje over 20 years ago. My uncle Thomas had been there on a trip. He came back telling us of these young girls who were seeing Our Lady and he gave us each a blessed rosary!
I think I prayed the rosary once or twice until the novelty wore off and then I mysteriously lost them!
20 years later I came to Medjugorje for the first time, it was summer and full of people and I found it too much!
Last year I spent 6 months here and still struggled with my identity and testimony of being catholic and gay!
Since then I visited many times and each time my heart softened more!
And so now today, here I am delighted to be in Medjugorje and super grateful to Our Lady!
It is a beautiful sunny day, God loves me and there are very few people here making it even more perfect!!
Medjugorje, love it or hate it is a gift from heaven and I am so thankful to be part of it!
How long will I be here?
I don’t know!
How will it all work out?
I don’t know!
How will I afford it?
I don’t know
But the great thing is that I don’t need to know. Just like a child who trusts his mother, God is asking me to trust!
So if you have any prayer requests, message me and I will bring them to God through Our Lady on your behalf!
And if you want to be a part of God’s providence and help me and help Our Lady in my mission of prayer and evangelisation, that is good too!
Anyway, God bless you today from Medjugorje, one of my many ‘homes’!!
After a hectic day yesterday here I am sitting down to write!
At this mornings mass I sensed strongly to pray for vocations to the priesthood!
At times it’s true that I’ve said harsh things about priests but yet it’s worth remembering that without priests there is no mass, no eucharist, no confession and so never before are holy priests needed!
There seems to be a terrible crisis of vocations in the west. In countries such as India and Africa, the priesthood is still very respected and thus attracts vocations but in the west the opposite is true!
Today is the feast of Saint Paul Miki who was martyred. In the church there are 2 types of martyrdom
– Red martyrdom which means those that were physically killed and
-White martyrdom for those who were martyred in their hearts.
So for example, Jesus was red martyred while Mary was white martyred.
Other red martyrs include many of the saints who were hung or crucified, shot or beheaded. St Peter, St Paul, St Stephan, St Maximiliem Kolbe.
Other white martyrs include St. Theresa of the Child Jesus, Padre Pio who died naturally after a lifetime of hugh internal suffering.
Some indeed were both! Poor Jesus suffered both. Maximiliem Kolbe suffered both!
Anyway, going back to my prayer for vocations it became clear to me that saying ‘yes’ to becoming a priest in the west is saying ‘yes’ to a white martyrdom.
When I lived in France some priests were afraid to take a train because sometimes groups of youths shouted ‘paedophile’ at them.
Growing up in Ireland vocations were never spoken of and anyone who did decide to become a priest was deemed a social reject that joined the seminary because no woman would ever look at him! Either that or he was gay.
Either way there was zero respect for priests and I can only imagine the bullying a young person might have got if they told their friends that they were considering priesthood.
As television came in, prayer went out and we got our new catechism from the tv!
To suggest that one believed in purity and waiting for marriage to have sex would have been unheard of and even to go to mass after one left home would have been very strange!
I know nobody from my class in college that went to church and I was the same!
And so in a modern world with technology and freedom there was no respect for God and no room for old-fashioned morality.
Only when I left Ireland and went to France did I meet people my own age who went to mass and to my surprise they weren’t weirdos! Many were young, fun and cool and smashed the stereotype I had from Ireland.
It got me thinking! How had things gone so bad in Ireland? How had the island of Saints and Scholars turned into a pagan land?
It made me sad, very sad because pre conversion I was no better. I too mocked and laughed at priests and thought religion was stupid and unnecessary. I had no love for Jesus and was well and truly a child of the world.
And so now as I pray for vocations I feel sad because I know that there are many vocations out there that will never come to be due to all these social fears and blockages.
Often I meet ladies praying for priests and vocations. Many of them say to me that they would hate if their son became a priest! Not because they hate priests but because they would be afraid of their child having a terrible life.
And who can blame them. To become a priest one must be prepared for the sufferings and mockery from the modern world, it is not an easy life and anyone that says the opposite is lying!
(Saint John Vianney Ars, France. Patron Saint of parish priests)
That said, when God calls He gives grace and while the priesthood may not be an easy life, it may indeed be a very fulfilling life and thus one should not be afraid!
So if you are out there, if you are a mother or a father, please may you too pray for priests and be open to the possibility of God calling one of your little boys to the beautiful vocation of serving others as a priest.
And if you are a priest and happen to read this, well done for having had the courage to say yes to Jesus in this modern world where so many hate you!
Our Lady, St Joseph and all you priests in heaven, pray for us!
Good afternoon or good arvo for those of you in Australia!
Here I am in Split where I have been now for one year. As the Holy Spirit prepares us to leave I reflect on it all!
As a little boy I made my first Holy Communion in the parish of Crusheen in Ireland’s county Clare. I guess I was about 7, I’m not sure!
My mum had me dressed in a mini suit with a dicky bow! I never liked getting dressed up like that so I can imagine the trouble I caused mam!
Everyone in the class was given a little job to do! Mine was to go around during the offering and offer everybody the sign of peace! This was to symbolise missionaries being sent out!!
Now I have read the lives of many of the saints who were yearning to make their Holy Communion so that they could receive Jesus into their hearts. This was not me!!
I was indeed yearning to make my communion so that my aunties’ and uncles’ would give me money and that afterwards I could eat lots of chips at the hotel where we’d go afterwards!
And indeed I did fill my belly in Sullivan’s Hotel in Gort county Galway!
Did I even believe in Jesus at the time? I honestly don’t know but I guess what I do know now is that Jesus believed in me!!
I guess I could look back and see God’s hand in me being a little missionary running around the church and shaking people’s hands at age 7.
Little did I know he’d have me running around the world years later!!
And so here I am at 36 getting ready to leave! It is always stressful. You make friends and then bang, you are gone. All the wounds of the past come up to visit you! Doubts, anxieties, regrets! Many find my way of life difficult to accept and to understand and that can be painful to watch and at times the greatest pain of all is having very little money and trusting blindly in the grace of God and the generosity of others to survive!
So today I think of how carefree my 7 year old self was and I have my patents to thank for that as they spoilt him!
Perhaps in all of our lives if we look back we can see the hand of God when we didn’t even believe in God!
The saints all say that God is like a persistent lover, running after His loved ones!
As usual my departing is happening both quickly and unexpectedly. To some of you this will seem strange that I did not say goodbye yet do not let this make you think that I did not love and appreciate you. To others my departure will come as good news and this is ok too! May God bless you all regardless of which group you may fall into!
So dear friends, pray for me as the Lord guides. May I grow more in love and peace and be a true apostle of love as Our Lady so often speaks of in Medjugorje!
As she has been doing now for years, Our Lady appeared yesterday morning in Medjugorje.
Here is what she had to say
“Dear children, the love and goodness of the Heavenly Father give revelations which make faith grow, for it to be interpreted, that it may bring peace, certainty and hope. In this way, I, too, my children—through the merciful love of the Heavenly Father—always, anew, am showing you the way to my Son, to eternal salvation. But, unfortunately, many of my children do not want to hear me; many of my children are of two minds. And I—I always, in time and beyond time, magnified the Lord for all that He has done in me and through me. My Son gives Himself to you and breaks the bread with you. He speaks the words of eternal life to you so that you may carry them to everyone. And you, my children, apostles of my love, what are you afraid of when my Son is with you? Offer your souls to Him so that He can be in them and that He can make you instruments of faith, instruments of love. My children, live the Gospel, live merciful love for your neighbors, and, above all, live love for the Heavenly Father. My children, you are not united by chance. The Heavenly Father does not unite anyone by chance. My Son speaks to your souls. I speak to your heart. As a mother I am saying to you: set out with me, love one another, give witness. Do not be afraid, with your example, to defend the truth—the Word of God which is eternal and never changes. My children, whoever acts in the light of merciful love and truth is always helped by Heaven and is not alone. Apostles of my love, may you always be recognized among all others by your hiddenness, love and radiance. I am with you. Thank you.”
We could break it up into a few points.
1. God gives revelations to help us grow. These are signs that the Holy Spirit gives us to help us and Our Lady is a big part of this as she is our mother.
2. Many people do not want to hear or follow Our Lady.
This sounds very harsh, yet it is Our Lady that said it so for once you can’t blame me!!
People are of “two minds” and are afraid to follow Our Lady and step out in faith.
Our Lady is clearly very distressed as she labours the point. We can almost feel her tears and how rejected she is by her own children.
3. “Live the gospel” and live our faith and love. “Give witness” and “do not be afraid, with your example, to defend the truth”.
Again a very strong call to more! To living our faith radically and to practicing what we preach.
4. May we be recognised among others by our hiddness, love and radiance!
Notice that she said to be recognised among others rather than loved by others!
So overall a very powerful message from Our Lady and a call to radically following Jesus.
It is worth remembering that when Our Lady appears in Medjugorje that her messages are going to a largely catholic audience!
Yes dear brothers and sisters, this message is for us, for me and you and reminds me of how mother Theresa replied to a young person who wanted to change the world!
“Start with me and you” she said.
May we humble ourselves in front of Our Lady and allow her to use us more to be a living witness of faith as she is pleading for. May we never get comfortable and arrogant and think that we are ok.
Our Lady, with your help we say yes and we are sorry for all the times that we said no.
Jesus was born into the world 2000 years ago. As His mother and father desperately looked for a place to give birth, none could be found.
Little did people know that they shut the door on the mother of God and on their saviour!
Today Jesus is born in many hearts and many a time the door is shut on them too.
I experienced this myself first hand years ago when I was judged and mistreated by church people as Jesus was touching my life.
I didn’t really understand what was happening to me and when I went to so many places for help the doors were shut just like the doors were shut to Our Lady.
You see, Jesus often comes into your life in a way different from how you expect!
Jesus is in the homeless man, Jesus is in the guy suffering with depression, Jesus is in the young pregnant girl, Jesus is in the gay, Jesus is in the broken.
You see Jesus desires to be loved. If he came dressed in gold you’d all love Him but it’s the gold you’d love and so many times He dresses Himself in rags and brokenness and He gets kicked out.
However there are always a small few who recognise Him in the broken and see Him in the poor. These people open wide the doors of their hearts to Jesus and to the broken. They are like Veronica, wiping the tears of Jesus with a rag.
Since Jesus asked Seamus and I to help Toni, a beautiful young guy finding his way we have been like Mary and Joseph knocking on doors!
”Too busy”
“You guys aren’t following Holy Spirit”
“We do things our way”
“You expect too much”
Are some of the reasons the doors closed on us.
I’m not so sure that it’s too much to be the friend of a young guy recovering from a breakdown. An occasional message or a cup of coffee means more to these people than a hundred kuna.
And thankfully some people understood this and were so extremely generous while those in positions of authority stood by.
Jesus was also a leader. He led by example and He calls us all to do the same.
We are all leaders! Whether we are leaders of a family or at work or of dog kennel, we are all leaders.
Christian leaders are called to heroic sacrifices and will be given the grace to do so.
A few days ago we left the community where we were going. There were too many problems with leadership who were unable to welcome and help us as Jesus would have liked!
Last night Jesus guided us leaving this toxic environment which was setting poor Toni back and we are now a bit like Mary and Joseph on the run to Egypt!
Thank God we are in great spirits and we met a wonderful old man who is renting us a room. He smiled like a child as we told him we were missionaries and he hugged us all so heartily.
So on we go and of course many will say all sorts of evil things about us but hey!
That said, now more than ever we are asking people for financial and prayer support as we endeavour to be modern day witnesses to the power and reality of the Holy Spirit to restore and to give new life to broken souls cast aside by society and often cast aside too by church!
If you would like to help us please get in touch. We would be so grateful and any support is used for very basic things such as food and rent.
As for the David community. We forgive you and we pray that the next time Jesus comes to you disguised in the rags of brokenness that you may both see Him and love Him!
It was a healing mass in Ireland and Fr Pat a wonderful healing priest with particular gifts in deliverance.
A few people put up their hands. Then he looked at us and said ‘come on lads, we are all sick”!
Fr Pat wasn’t talking of physical illness but of spiritual illness.
We live in a society where we have mercy on ‘sick’ people and hatred for ‘sinners’?
Satan’s plan is to seduce us into a false freedom where there is no such thing as sin, no such thing as right and wrong, no moral law, no absolute truth all in the name of freedom!
Yet if I got up today and told you all I was going to eat glass and jump off a 20 storey building because I want to be free of human limits on what I can eat and of gravity…..you’d tell me that I was crazy and that I was going to kill myself!
Yet spiritually, this is exactly what is happening. There is no sin, no right, no wrong, no God and so no consequences….
Abortion, unlimited sex, power, money, occult are some of the fruits of this free humanity where we have matured so much that we now see murder of a baby as an advancement in women’s freedom and sex as a recreational drug for all!
We have eliminated sin and are relishing our new freedom. Right?
I’m not sure. Suicide rates have never been higher, the amount of people on anti-depressive medication is avalanching! Heck, they are now giving it to their dogs and cats!
‘There is no mercy without sin’ is a slogan I saw at another retreat house in Ireland where Fr Brendan Walsh carried out very powerful healing masses.
Yet it’s true! For God to heal us we must admit to being sick. For God to help us we must admit to needing help!
And only with this attitude are we willing to listen to God as we would a medical doctor!
Recently a friend of mine living a life of ‘sexual freedom’ told me how happy he is and knows that God both accepts and loves him!
It is true that God accepts and loves everybody, including Satan himself. The more important question is do we accept and love God?
Do we accept that we are broken and that we need help to live a life pleasing to God?
Do we accept that the things pleasing to God include purity, charity, prayer….and that drugs, lust, sexual promiscuity have no place in God’s plan for us!
Now obviously it’s not easy and just like learning a foreign language, God does not expect perfection over night as it takes a lot of time and practice.
It is normal to get discouraged and to be tempted to give up and this is where we need prayer and support along the way.
As I look back on my own journey around the world I thank God especially for all the healing priests and masses that I attended!
From the Paletine Father’s in Thurles (county Tipperary, Ireland) to the Vincentian Father’s in Kerela India to the Missionsaries of God’s love in Australia to the ‘Foyers de Charité’ in France I have been truly blessed and amazingly healed!
Not to mention Medjugorje and the great priests and prayers here locally in Split where I am now!
And so the good news today is that we are all sick and that there is doctor with a cure!
His name is Jesus and He is kind, patient, understanding, full of compassion and love!
So let’s come on this journey of healing and allow our loving God to restore our health and joy so that we may become the beautiful people He made us to be!
Remember that no matter how sick you are, nothing is impossible to doctor Jesus, not even you!
And so let’s sing to sin and to Satan
‘so long, fairwell, auf wiedersehan, goodbye!’
and turn our hearts and minds to our loving God as we walk on the journey of life!
On Eagle's Wings 