Good morning and I hope your Christmas preparations are coming on nicely!
Yesterday I met an old friend, I’m sure we all have these type of experiences and at times they help us as benchmarks to see how far we have come!
Laura was no ordinary friend, she was my first proper girlfriend!
Yes, girlfriend and not boyfriend! I went to France at 24 and although I was 90% drawn to guys, every now and then a girl would take my eye!
This is why for some people such as me sexuality can be very confusing! I didn’t fit nicely into the binary “gay or straight” box and I didn’t quite know what I was!
We fell in love and we used to even talk of getting married. But how could I get married with the gay secret?!
Some do and I don’t judge because like me they don’t quite know what they are and some believe that marriage will fix them! Talk to then 10 years later and they’ll tell you that it didn’t!
Many wives discover their husbands have a gay side and feel betrayed. Yet that doesn’t mean that the husband didn’t love them or have a straight side too! It’s not black and white!
Sadly for the men usually the sympathy goes to the wife!
“How could he do it to her?”
“How could he lie?”
“What an evil man!”
Few think of what it was like for the man and in truth both are victims!
In my case I was blessed! Firstly I didn’t go as far as getting married and secondly Laura was an extraordinary human being!
At a young age she was blessed with love, understanding, forgiveness and empathy and when I did tell her about being gay-confused she accepted both it and me!
Of course it was very difficult for her and my heart broke that I had hurt her so much without meaning it!
Yesterday we met for the first time in years. For once I wasn’t in the middle of a breakdown and it was so nice to catch up even if afterwards I did cry some tears!
Thank God she was looking really well and is even married! I was so happy to hear that even if like any of us life has had its ups and downs!
Anyway I imagine that at this time of the year many of you too will meet some of your “blasts from the past”!
It might be an ex-wife or husband or an ex-girlfriend. It might be a brother or a sister that doesn’t talk to you for whatever reason ..
So, what to do?
Well in my experience: Forgive yourself for your mistakes, forgive the other, undo on your side any damage by what you may have said or done and if like in my case the other person can forgive you then a new friendship may be restored and if not; bless them, pray for them and move on!
Thank you Jesus for Laura, bless her life in every way and may she serve as an example to us all of love, forgiveness and reconciliation!