Good Sunday morning, the day of the resurrection and as I have resurrected my blog I decided that I’d write a little more on the greatest change I’ve experienced over the last 8 months; being in a relationship.

For many years I was ashamed of being gay and told nobody and then after I met Jesus I was convinced that I had to remain single and yet deep in my heart there was something missing, human touch and love.

While I always agreed with church teaching that homosexual sex fell short of God’s best, I could never understand why gay Catholics were forced into silence and singledom. It wasn’t right. Love is love and whether you love a man or a woman, it’s still love.

The main ‘catholic problem’ is that people are obsessed with sex and since my new and wonderful relationship began I’ve received my fair share of criticism from people who judge me and presume that my relationship is all about sex.

And yet nothing could be further than the truth. Rayne and I pray together, go to mass and confession together, attend eucharistic adoration together and do a lot of sport together. We have a deep love for one another that is from God and is something very beautiful and very precious.

All my life catholic people told me that I needed to find the balance and to have other interests and hobbies besides prayer. However the same people kept me away from other gay people and told me that I could never have a life giving and loving relationship with another man.

While they prayed earnestly and sincerely for me, little did they realise that they were actually the problem!!

You see, the missing ingredient in my life was actually a relationship with another guy! Not a relationship based on sex but a relationship based on love.

Four years ago I had a brief taste of what this could be like when I lived in Sydney but when I told my spiritual mentors about it and a man I’d met, they immediately shut me down and condemningly told me that I was being influenced by evil spirits.

While in my heart I knew that I was right, I didn’t have the strength to fight and had a major breakdown but like the other breakdowns, I got through it and allowed God to turn it into a breakthrough.

Being in a relationship over the last 8 months has taught me so much more about God and about myself. It has taught me about love and how God yearns for us to have a life filled with love.

It has also taught me how some people can simply not accept God’s ways and can be so judgemental. My uncle and Godfather Thomas who had been so good to me for many years was one of them and sadly I had to cut contact with him as he continued to undermine and criticize me for this new step.

Other ‘friends’ suggested that I had left the ‘hard and narrow’ road of the cross and had compromised my faith.

If only they knew that it has taken far more strength to actually be in a relationship and talk about it than to live in the closet. People can be so cruel.

However the good wishes and comments far outweighed the bad and I was delighted that after all these years my mum accepted it without a fuss and often asks about Rayne.

Yet all this would not have been possible without the truly amazing spiritual and human support of the church at St. Mary of the Angels and most particularly Monseigneur Keith and Fr. Paul who have years of experience in the pastoral care of LGBT Catholics.

They really are amazing and how amazing it was to see Monsignor Keith confirming Rayne a few months back.

As I reflect on this new phase of my life I now understand why Jesus sent us to London!

Over two years ago I sat crying in a coffee shop in Split, Croatia and asked God “what next?”. “London” he replied and so we came here in blind obedience and faith not knowing what lay ahead.

And yet here in London after all the years of travelling I’ve finally found acceptance and love in the catholic church and I’ll be forever grateful.

And so as I finish up I’d say once again that we must knock down all the barriers we have that prevent us accepting and loving LGBT people for who they are.

Instead we must listen and nurture and show people that one can be catholic, gay and fully alive!

So thank you all for your prayers and support. After so many years of struggles and breakdowns my prayer now is that God will use my life story and example to touch as many hearts as possible and to bring as many LGBT people as possible into the love and life of Jesus while opening the hearts of our church leaders to the beautiful reality and truth of same sex love and relationships.

Have a great day and thank you for reading. Pray for me!