Good evening everyone and I hope you’re all eating those last bits of chocolate before lent!

As I continue my ministry to the church and gay community a memory got triggered today after reading an article in relation to homosexuality and the German bishops.

In summary the German bishops have stated very clearly that the church must adapt a new pastoral approach to homosexuality and bless same sex unions where appropriate. (I’ve put the article at the end of this blog)

It got me thinking of an experience that I had in Medjugorje about 3 years ago.

After sharing my story with a very kind and Holy priest he surprised me by saying

“I’ll pray you’ll get a partner”.

I was very surprised because although open to others having a partner, I’d never considered having one myself. Perhaps I thought that I was too holy for that type of thing or perhaps I thought that it’d be impossible with my life and that I’d never be accepted anywhere in the church if I was partnered.

It was probably a mix of the above!

And you see recently I’ve met quite a few unfilled and relatively unhappy catholic gay guys and so very often I feel like shouting

“Hey, I was like you, start looking for a boyfriend….it’s great!!”

Not of course that you can order one on Amazon but yet if one prays and one searches, God will provide….eventually!

Now like the German bishop, the priest took me aside and said something like

“Don’t go around saying I told you that, I don’t mean go get any guy and just have sex, I mean pray to find a guy like you that loves God that you can love and who can love you”

I understood what he meant and I never broke that promise. He too was in a tricky situation as he knew from experience that what was good for me would also have been condemned by many others.

Sadly many people are so focused on the “occasion of sin” that they forget about the “opportunity of love” and being in a relationship really is one heck of an opportunity.

We all need human love and affection and we need to learn how to love and how to be loved in a healthy way.

So many catholic gay guys are like how I used to be. They live in the church and are afraid of their shadows less they fall into sin and go to hell.

They are afraid to look at a guy in case they like it and it triggers the lonliness of their lives. They busy themselves with work and prayer and every now and then they break out and watch some porn or masturbate or hook up with someone and then afterwards, straight to confession and the cycle begins again. I should know, I was one of them.

At times people like this even think that they are the true and authentic Catholics, taking up their cross and resisting sin.

Yet deep down these people aren’t happy and they know that they are not living the “life in abundance” that Jesus speaks of. They know that something is missing but they just don’t know what.

Sadly the media has often portrayed gay relationships as nothing but sex and so to the pious catholic, this definitely doesn’t seem right. (For that matter the media does the same with heterosexual relationships too).

And this is why a new type of relationship is needed….God’s and Gay (G & G). Relationships based on love for God and for eachother.

It is necessary to show the church and world that God and Gay are not irreconcilable and that God has a truly wonderful plan for gay people which doesn’t necessarily mean being single.

But just like a good catholic straight couple should somehow stand out from the crowd and be a witness of God’s love in their marriage or relationship, the same is true for the godly gay couple.

God calls us all to love and to charity and so to things like fidelity, prayer, involvement in the church, giving alms,  helping the poor etc.

And so as I reflect on all this I am quietly satisfied by what is happening in Germany and yet thankful to God for the people He has put on my road to navigate me around this whole area of homosexuality and catholicism.

So then, what to give up for lent?

Let’s give up our misery and unhappiness and let’s boldly ask God that like in star trek we may “boldly go where we’ve never gone before” and show the whole world the joy of knowing Jesus and being gay!

Thanks for reading and please pray for me and for our church.


P.S. Article in full

German bishop says Catholic Church must change its stance on homosexuality.

Bishop Peter Kohlgraf of Mainz backs blessings for same-sex couples and a revision of the Catechism.

The Catholic Church should adopt a new pastoral approach to homosexual couples by accompanying them and blessing what is good in their lives, according to Bishop Peter Kohlgraf of Mainz.

In his weekly column in the diocesan paper Glaube und Leben, the 53-year-old bishop explained how he came to be convinced that the Church must change its stance on homosexuality.

He said that after becoming a bishop in 2017, he was soon made aware that many different forms of blessings for homosexual couples already existed “and would continue to exist”.”Bless what is good in their lives”

They are not modelled on Catholic liturgical wedding ceremonies, nor do they aim to achieve one standardized liturgy.

Priests who accompanied such couples bless what is good in their lives,” he explained.

That was why he supported the publication of a collection of blessing ceremonials for gay couples titled “Couples, Rites, Church”, which members of Mainz Diocese had helped the German Society for Catholic Family Planning compile and publish in November 2020.

Kohlgraf acknowledged that most of the blessing ceremonials described in the book are “against Church law”. But he said they are already being used and would continue to be used.

The bishop, who was ordained a priest in1993 for the Archdiocese of Cologne, said he thought it would make little sense if he, as the bishop responsible, were to nullify the blessings.

“Do I really want to break that much china for people who are believers?” he asked.

A catechism that is not tactful or respectful He pointed out that when the German Bishops’ Conference held a series of discussions on homosexuality in December 2019, medical experts reported that “the percentage of people who feel they are homosexually oriented in society is by no means small and homosexuality is a relevant phenomenon in the animal world”.

He said he often asked himself questions such as, “Are people who feel homosexually oriented imperfectly created? Did God slip up?”Kohlgraf admitted that, personally, he found it difficult to imagine that something had gone wrong in the order of creation.

He said very few homosexuals found the Catechism of the Catholic Church’s stipulation that they practice chastity as “tactful and respectful”.

The bishop pointed out that the Catechism, also states that their inclination is not of their own choosing.

And he noted that its call for compassion for homosexuals could sound condescending.”All in all, I am amazed by how greatly the issue of homosexuality has gained ferocity in Church debates,” Kohlgraf said.

He said the focus on blessings for homosexual couples had increased markedly in the German Church in recent years.

Bishop Franz-Josef Bode of Osnabrück was the first German bishop to speak out openly in favor of the practice. That was in 2018.”Remaining silent or tabooing the subject gets us nowhere,” the 70-year-old bishop said at the time, while demanding more discussion on the issue.

That same year, Cardinal Reinhard Marx of Munich came out in favor of blessing homosexual couples in individual cases after they had been accompanied by a priest.

And then in 2020, Bishop Heinrich Timmerevers of Dresden told the KNA Catholic news agency that he would welcome blessings for homosexual couples.

He said he was against excluding people and could understand why gay couples would want a blessing.