Hello from the number 7 bus!

Yesterday I made a big investment. I bought my first mask since the virus began. Hooray!!!

And speaking of putting on a mask, this is the subject of today’s blog!

For us to be happy do we need to suppress (mask) who we are or rather address who we are?

The answer seems quite obvious and yet almost counter intuitive.

For years I was afraid to admit to myself and the world that I was gay because I felt that if I said it then I’d have to live a ‘gay lifestyle’.

Suppressing it helped me to stay chaste to a point but the pressure of suppression led to unreal anxiety and depression.

So then I let the cat out of the bag and it turned out far differently to what I had imagined!

Admitting that one is gay or straight didn’t mean that I had to have sex with every guy that I met and when I discovered Jesus it didn’t mean that I had to have sex at all!

Just because we might having a craving for McDonald’s doesn’t mean that we have to go there. We have a choice and we can fill our hunger in other ways. The burgers at 5 guys are much better for example.

Nobody would ever ask us to suppress our appetites but rather to address them and to tame them like wild horses!

And this is the challenge we all have with our sexualities too.

We all have sexual desires, it’s just how we are but there is a deeper underlying desire behind the sexual desires and that is love and intimacy.

Many sex addicts find that as they learn to give and receive love and intimacy in other ways that their out of control sexual desires begin to die.

And what better place to receive love than ‘love’ Himself. Jesus.

Jesus calls us all to His heart for a heart to heart. He wants to make us athletes of love, of true love and to set the world on fire with it.

For this to happen we must bring Him our struggles and unholy desires we have such as lust. We must not hide it from Him like a husband might hide his lustful thoughts from his wife but we must share it with Him.

We must say something like “here I am Jesus and while I love you, there is a part of me that is lusting over…..please Jesus touch me with your love, calm these parts of me that are outside of my conscience control and direct them to your love”

We might have to pray this prayer every day and yet so what! Jesus never gets bored of honesty nor does He get bored of answering prayers!

And over time Jesus does transform us and He teaches us not only how to be intimate with Him but to be intimate with others in non-lustful ways.

And yea, just like going to the gym it takes time and while at the gym we do physical exercises, to learn to love we need to do spiritual exercises.

We need to learn to be honest with ourselves and with others, we need to seek out prayer groups with similar minded people, we need to find good priests or people for prayer and counselling, we need to listen to good teachings on the internet and to the experiences of others and most of all we need to learn to pray!

Sounds like hard work? It is! And yet it’s the path that we are called on and yet just like that rewarding feeling that we get after a good workout, it is EXTREMELY REWARDING!

So let’s not think that christianity is about repression because it’s not!

Christianity is all about TRANSFORMATION and learning to have the life in abundance that God wants for us all.

So this Friday, the day of Jesus’ passion, let’s go to Him not suppressing our feelings and emotions but rather opening them to Him and inviting the amazing love that motivated Him to die for us to touch those parts of our hearts and lives and to transform us from the inside out!

“Jesus, I bring you all my secret and shameful feelings and desires (name them). Please touch these dark areas of my soul with your love and free me from all the shame and fear that is attached to them. Please bring the right people into my life with whom I can share and love and teach me to be fully alive for your glory.”

Have a wonderful day!