Hello again and thank you to all my readers yesterday. Seems like there is nothing that gets more readers than sex!


Yesterday I wrote about open relationships in the gay world, not to endorse or condemn them but just to explain and educate people.

Today I’m going to write about something else that has made the gay community equally unpopular for all the wrong reasons among Christians…”FWB” or friends with benefits!

I’ll tell you how I first heard of it. I was in Dublin and had been battling for months with depression. Every day seemed a step closer to the inevitable…suicide. I made friends with a guy at the tennis club called Marco and told him about my life.

He was gay and from Italy and told me how his catholic parents rejected him when he came out as gay and how he had years of anxiety and depression too. His psychiatrist recommended him to leave Italy and to get away from his family.

Ironically a few months later Jesus would have me do likewise!!


Marco told me how he was now fairly ok and that part of him functioning was having a few “fuck buddies” as he called them.

FWB is a more polite term for the same thing but basically it’s when 2 guys agree to become friends and have sex without being in a relationship.

Again this might sound alarming to some but these are the real life dilemmas in the gay community. People get very sexual, need a sexual release and find ways to fill this need.

FWB is better and safer to the alternative of having sex with utter strangers as this is obviously more risky from an STD point of view and yet most guys with these ‘friends’ still crave something else, true love and that special somebody.


So why then do this you might ask?

I think that a lot of this comes from lonliness and a genuine need for intimacy. When and if we don’t receive much love and acceptance from our family or from the church then we are going to look for it in other ways and the rest is history, lust can easily take over.

Personally I found the greatest remedies to lust to be prayer and cuddles!! Prayer filled my spirit with love while cuddles filled me body….at least most of the time…I’m not perfect.

We all have emotional needs and bodies, the trick must not be to repress these needs but to learn to satisfy them in healthy ways.

While my friend Marco had found some sort of relief through a psychiatrist and a few fuck buddies I do wonder how much better his life could be had he found spiritual support in the church from a priest and emotional support from some prayer and cuddle buddies!


Needless to say the church has an awful long way to go before she can credibly say that she understands the gay community and the needs of gay people.

It’s not in theology books that the answers will be found but in meeting the people, listening to their needs and bringing it to prayer.


And so in the meantime I thank God that I have a friend with the greatest benefits of all and that His name is Jesus. Meanwhile I pray for all the people like Marco out there that they too may find Jesus and break free of the life of fuck buddies and into the realm of love buddies!

Thanks for reading and please never judge. Had these people been loved and helped when they were young adolescents I’m sure their lives would be very different.

Michael