Good evening from London!
Yesterday I had a bit of business to attend to in Margate and decided to stay there overnight with Rayne.
Margate is on the bottom right hand corner of England for those of you who’s geography is a bit like mine!! It’s also by the sea and is one of those seaside towns that you either love or hate. In our case we really loved it!!
After a very pleasant evening with some cocktails, coffee and food myself and Rayne had an argument.
Looking back it’s amazing how arguments can start and how silly and childish they can be and yet how wonderful and important they are for growth.
Usually people argue because there is some sort of a disagreement and something happens that kicks it off.
It’s like a black cloud in the sky that is just waiting to rain and sometimes once the rain starts, it goes on and on and on. I’m irish, I should know!
And yet arguments can be fantastic because like the rain, they release the stored up tensions which were there all along and provide us with ample opportunity to grow spiritually and humanly.
How much of it was my fault? How much of it was the others fault? Can I ask for forgiveness? Am I willing to forgive?
You see, better than any spiritual retreat as far as opportunities for growth go!!
In French they have a nice phrase “après la pluie, le beau temps” which translates into “after the rain, the good weather” and the same can be said for a good argument.
After a good argument we have time to laugh at ourselves and how immature and petty we can be and we can put things into perspective.
Yet that said, arguments can also lead to total disaster when neither party is willing to do the hard work of forgiveness! I know several people who refuse to talk to me just because I might have said something that offended them in an argument. Sadly these people don’t know how to forgive from the heart and what could have led to growth and a deeper mutual understanding led to the opposite.
And that’s the sad thing about arguments, you can’t make other people do the hard work of forgiveness and reconciliation. You can’t force them to grow.
And so as I reflect on my little argument with Rayne, I give thanks to God for many things. I thank God that we both got to release some tension but most of all I thank God that both of us were able to reflect and pray and forgive eachother and then enjoy the rest of our time!
And so as today’s gospel was all about loving eachother, what better way to love than to forgive from the heart and move on.
We are all human, we all get stressed, we all have our wounds and insecurities and triggers and we are all capable of hurting others at times. So let’s not hold others in judgement but rather let’s forgive, move on and love because at the end of the day often those you argue with the most are actually the very ones you love the most!
Thanks for reading and remember, holding grudges and bitterness are simply not worth it.
Michael & Rayne
Good evening from London!