Good morning from a rainy London where we are enjoying the lockdown rules which allow us to even shake hands. To celebrate I tried a new look!!!

And more good news yesterday came our way with Toni being officially diagnosed as transgender here in England. This really has been an answer to prayer and a weight off my mind to be honest.

Toni was already diagnosed as transgender in Croatia but sadly he had no real support network there and certainly no christian support network. When I invited him to come to London with us he knew that his treatments would be put on hold and this was an enormous sacrifice for him.

He also knew that if he didn’t come with us to London that he’d end up dead or in a psychiatric hospital. He used to worry and cry at times that we’d leave him behind while I used to pray for the grace and strength to bring  him.

Arriving in London was very daunting. We knew absolutely nobody, we had no contacts and all that weighed heavily on me as the ‘leader’. Many times I feared that I would crack under the pressure and uncertainty of it all.

However, daily mass and adoration, regular confession, a lot of forgiveness and your prayers and donations kept us going and miraculously we found our way to Saint Mary of the Angels Parish and to the merciful gaze of Fr. Keith.

However Toni’s difficulties continued and he found it next to impossible to tell people that he was trans and was extremely discouraged that there was a 3 year waiting list for treatment here.

I honestly felt like his dad as I went to his first doctor’s appointment with him and for anyone who doesn’t know me this was a sacrifice because I faint very easily around blood or even talking about medical stuff!!

Yet even after that bad news I recall telling Toni not to take it too seriously because Jesus has ways and means to get around waiting lists when He wants. “No” or ‘impossible” are not words in Jesus’ vocabulary.

Anyway in the mean time Toni got more and more healing and became more and more confident in sharing about his journey and what it’s like to be catholic and transgender and thanks  to the amazing support of Fr. Keith and some other significant people in the house he really began to flourish!

You see God had always shown me that part of Toni’s healing was in talking openly about his journey. At times he couldn’t understand this and treated me like the devil for even suggesting it and yet Jesus made it very clear to me. Others too questioned me about talking about Toni and felt that it should be a private matter.

Yet how could Toni help other transgender people in the future if he was bound by secrecy and shame? He couldn’t.

And how amazing is it that Toni is now preparing a young transgender boy for confirmation. I can only imagine how happy that boy must feel to have someone like Toni to help him and how happy his parents must be that he has found support and understanding in the church.

It really is amazing!!

Anyway, now that Toni is officially diagnosed as transgender he can proceed with the different treatments that he needs (hormones etc.) and I have no doubt that he’s going to continue to flourish and be a light to the transgender world.

It’s also a big weight off my mind as I have been carrying some of the responsibility since I’m the one that was responsible for bringing him to London and that’s the thing about being a leader, you cop the praise and the blame and in my experience more of the latter than the former!!

(One of my favourite pictures, Toni on his way to London to start a new life).

And so today I smile and I thank God because despite being surrounded by so many people who hate my guts, I am also surrounded by many loving and encouraging people and I know in my heart the sacrifices that I have made and the help that I have been able to offer Toni under exceptionally trying circumstances.

We are extremely grateful to every one of you who have believed in us, who have prayed for us, who believe in our ministry and who love Jesus.

May more and more young LGBTQ people be encouraged and be inspired and come to know the love and mercy of Jesus and the power of prayer and may those bitter and angry souls who are unable to rejoice with us receive the healing grace of forgiveness and conversion.

Have a wonderful day and thank you for reading and well done Toni for getting this far, for trusting in Jesus, for trusting in me, for persevering and for just being yourself! Keep on going. We all love you to bits and are with you all the way.