Good rainy morning to you all!

I’m not sure about elsewhere but for the last few weeks all the shops have been decorated with things for Halloween.

It brings me back to my childhood when my mum would buy us masks and spiders and such and we’d enjoy terrorising our grandparents who of course would play along!

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And my dad would join in teaching us games like how to get a pound coin out of a basin of water with your mouth and of course my favourite game, teasing my sister Kathleen🤣🤣🤣.

One person who won’t be enjoying this halloween is our dear friend Brenda because she has been in hospital with severe pain in her back and other conditions. While she’s now out, she’s still not herself and she needs all the prayers that she can get. If you have a moment pray this prayer for her.

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Get well soon Brenda, we love you

Last night I was talking to someone about Halloween and as I reflected on it, it hit me how this pagan festival has really nothing to do with what it id today.

Today we see Halloween as this sort of pagan occult like festival where devils and demons are called to scare people but originally this isn’t what it was at all!

In actual fact the pagans of the time were petrified of devils and demons who they believed were particularly active on this particular night.

In order to protect their houses they’d put out scary objects and in a pre-Christian messed up sort of a way this was a bit like how many of us place sacred objects and medals in our houses as well to keep demons away.

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The only difference is that they were fighting demons with demons where we are asking God to protect us and so we should because these realities are very real.

In my own room I have many holy objects including the cross, the rosary, St Benedict’s medal and every night abd morning I spray exorcism holy water.

All that said, there is no replacement for personal holiness and we could have all the holy objects in the world and yet if we don’t pray and confess our sins then we are only fooling ourselves.

Perhaps for the purposes of evangelisation this is the attitude to take to bringing people to a deeper sense of the spiritual rather than taking it too seriously because giving out to people and scolding people for dressing up only seems to turn them further from God and portrays us Christians and Catholics as boring superstitious stick in the muds who don’t know how to have a laugh.

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I’m not sure yet if I’ll dress up in some silly costume for the laugh but if I do I won’t be forgetting my prayers or suggesting to anyone that the realm of evil is a laughing matter because I know too well from direct experience that it’s not!

Now whether it’s a coincidence or not, tomorrow we begin the month of November which is a special month in the church where we pray especially for the souls of the dead in purgatory, something that is rarely spoken about nowadays and yet a place that has never been busier.

Take a moment and consider who might pray for you if you were to die tomorrow and and how you might scream for help and prayers from purgatory…

With this attitude say a prayer for the souls in purgatory now and also take the firm resolution to beging to altar any areas of your life where you know isn’t pleasing to God. Many of the saints desired to skip purgatory altogether by adapting this attitude and dedicating their lives to prayer and works of charity. We can do the same regardless of whether we are nuns or brothers in a monastery or ordinary lay people going about our lives.

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And so today as we are reminded of devils and demons and ghosts and the dead, let’s turn it around and rename ‘Halloween’ to ‘Hallow be thy name”.

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Blessings and please keep me in your prayers too and of course our priests who are on the front line so to speak!

Michael

Good morning from quite a dark and gloomy London.

I finished yesterday’s blog writing “Off now to meet more filthy sinners at the gym!!” And when an hour later I found that my gym bag and jacket had been stolen I had to put the patience that Jesus spoke about into practice.

There wasn’t much in it but it had my keys and the jacket was due a change…

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The advantage of not ever having anything that costs more than £20 is that when something does happen it’s not such a big deal.

On the other hand, living on providence means that £20 to me is like £200 to someone else and at times one does feel the pitch of poverty, misunderstandings and the notorious “get a job” solution!

Anyway, things have worked out up to now and Jesus asks me to continue to trust even if I don’t know how they will unfold over the next years.

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So perhaps it’s fitting this morning as I feel a little weighed down by these practical concerns that Our Lady spoke to me about recharging in prayer!

“Our Lady 

My little children,

How tired so many of you get and how easily you give up on being my apostles of love!

As your mother I understand your need for rest and recharging only too well but I offer you different remedies to the ways of the world.

Lavish holidays and over pampering the body is not the answer for much of your tiredness comes from your weary spirits.

You will find the real rest that you need in prayer and among the support of your prayerful friends.

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Do not let yourselves be seduced away from prayer in the name of rest or of balance but learn how to pray with your hearts in a way that unburdens you and rengerises you.

If prayer tires you out then you are not praying properly and you are not praying with your hearts.

Talk to me your mother, tell me all the things troubling and bothering your hearts however sinful or shameful and I will free you.

Do not just tell me the good things or the things that you think that I’d like to hear but tell me everything.

In telling me everything I can help you with everything and revive your drooping spirits.“

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This doesn’t mean that we have to be sat in the church the whole time praying. To be honest I have some of the best prayer times when I just go for a coffee on my own and talk to Our Lady. At times I feel her opposite me and many times I cry as I feel her saying “it’ll all be ok”.

Our Lady is very gentle and caring and yet she is very strong at the same time. Her strength comes from her love and as she shares it with us, we become strong too in love and in faith and the burdens of fear and doubts etc. fly off us.

Our Lady isn’t saying either that it’s wrong to go on a holiday! She’s just saying that at times it’s not a holiday that we actually need or indeed can afford.

So let’s reach out to Our Lady today with all our worries and prayers, let’s ask her to help us and let’s trust that she will and that today’s problem will be tomorrow’s testimony!

Enjoy your day!

Michael

Last night Jesus gave me a very beautiful message about patience with sinners and indeed patience with the first sinner in our lives…ourselves.

Since becoming Catholic one thing I’ve struggled with more than any other has been the pressure to be perfectly pure in the area of my sexuality and the accusation and condemnation if I wasn’t.

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Yet this pressure never came from Jesus but it did come from priests.

I remember being at a conference with Fr Bing where he told everyone that masturbation was a mortal sin. Immediately I though of all the sexual addicts that I’d worked with in Australia and the young people struggling with porn addictions and I was glad that they weren’t there.

The Jesus I know understands our wounds and pasts and takes all that into account especially in the area of sexual addictions or other addictions.

Pressuring people will only lead to fear, shame, depression and eventually just giving up.

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On another occasion I was on the bus in Italy with a Irish priest and his mother! Some of you will know who she is!

In between the three hundred rosaries she took a quick breath (in case Satan got in if we chatted) and told us of the scandalous story of a local priest going in and having tea with a young couple living in sin!

What was she expecting the priest to do? Hose them down?

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These judgement and pressuring attitudes only drive people further from the church and didn’t Jesus eat with sinners?

And so today’s message from Jesus is a reminder of how he likes to do things and how he values the gradual change of heart rather than a rapid and meaningless change of outward appearances.

“Jesus 

Do not worry my child. I too was hated and distrusted by so many for my radical love and hatred of religious hypocrisy which distanced and rejected the very people closest to the merciful heart of God.

My mercy my children sees beyond sins though they may be scarlet and sees the wounded and broken hearts behind them.

My mercy is patient and patiently and lovingly seduces sinners like a young man in pursuit of a beautiful woman.

My mercy sees beauty in sinners and thirsts to restore this beauty defiled by sin.

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My apostles of love and mercy, you must be patient with sinners and not frighten them away with heavy burdens and religious rules.

You lack of patience is a sign of your lack of trust in my love and mercy for both yourselves and others.

You endeavour to clear away the visible sins such as lust while making such little effort with even greater sins such as pride and hypocrisy.

Do not frighten away my children in my name. Do not add wounds to their wounds and shame to their shame because on judgement day you will be held accountable for each one of these souls.

Instead I ask you to listen with your hearts and speak words of hope and encouragement. Your job is not to convert souls, it is to love souls and your love and prayers will save many souls even though they never converted on earth.

Only God sees the heart and He does not judge on outward appearances as you do.

Give thanks at all time for the gift of faith and conversion that you have received through no merit of your own and consider everyone that you meet to be just like you and say to yourself “in different circumstances I may be in the same situation as them and maybe worse”.

Only from this place of humility which little Therese found as she considered the life of Mary Magdalene can you truly help others.

Yes my children, learn to love with your hearts and count not on your good deeds for all is grace.“

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This is indeed a very stern warning from Jesus not to judge and discourage others no matter how sinful or far from catholic perfection they may seem!

If it was as easy to stop sinning as turning off the light then I’m sure that we’d all be saints and so we must learn to love people and bring people closer to Jesus and trust in his mercy and in the gift of purgatory for the bits that don’t get purified on this side of the veil!

Off now to meet more filthy sinners at the gym!!

Michael

Last night I went to the prayer group “Pure at heart” where we mad adoration, a cup of tea and a wonderful talk on ‘friendship with Jesus’.

During the tea break a lady came and was asking Séamus and I about being gay and catholic. She mentioned the usual things like conversion therapy and also the LGBT agenda in schools.

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I guess what hit me from talking to her is that people have become so used to seeing the crazy promiscuous side of the gay world that they are afraid that if they accept gay people into the church that this is what will happen.

People aren’t so much homophobic as homo-afraid!

It’s also true that the relatively small number of gay people that seem to be even looking for God feeds into this. I meet a lot of gay people who live lives of a lot of promiscuity and sometimes I ask myself the question “do they ever ask themselves if it’s ok, if there is a God, if there is another way?”.

And with a lot the answer is no and many will just block you on social media once they find out that you don’t want to have sex with them.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect and have indeed committed my fair share of sexual sins but I never accepted it as good or normal nor did I ever stop going to confession.

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Perhaps that’s the difference between the Christian and the unbeliever, not so much that we don’t sin but we don’t make sin a way of life and say that it’s good!

And this is what’s known as the ‘gay agenda”.

It’s to say that gay is good, that gay sex is good and anyone who says otherwise is intolerant.

Of course the ‘gay agenda’ could also be said now for straight people. Straight is good, sex with whoever you want and whenever you want is good…..

So in truth the real agenda is a secular one. Do what you want and be happy, there is no such thing as God.

Clearly any catholic would be petrified is this entering catholic schools….unless it’s in there already?!

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I went to catholic schools all my life and none of us took any notice of catholic teaching.

In all honesty the way the faith was presented to us was so distant and abstract that by the time we left school and went to college it would have been more likely for us to still believe in Santa and the tooth fairy than Jesus and Mary.

The schools were catholic by name but that was about it really and once people went to college all restrictions went out the window…and I’m talking about straight people and not gay people!

Now going back to last night’s prayer meeting, the subject was ‘friendship with Jesus’ and it hit me that this simple thing is exactly what we had never learnt in our catholic schools.

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We learnt about Jesus and the 10 commandments but we never learnt how to just be his friend.

Nobody ever taught us how to pray and how to let this ‘God friend’ love us and help us.

And so is it any wonder that after leaving school for college we all stopped going to mass and were putty in Satan’s hands as the worlds of sex, drugs and money opened up.

And so you see the real threat to catholic schools isn’t gay people. Gay people need love and support too and they need to find that in school and discover that they too are a friend of Jesus.

The real agenda is the inability of catholic schools to bring their pupils into a loving friendship with Jesus regardless of whether they are boys or girls or gay or straight and we cannot blame anyone for that only ourselves.

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Personally I get tired of hearing these stories about this agenda and that agenda and blaming one or other group of people for the problems in the world as if we Catholics were innocent little lambs.

As Catholics we must be humble and acknowledge where we have failed to love people and bring people to a friendship with Jesus and as mother Theresa put it, if we want to change the world then we must start with ourselves!

So let’s not be afraid of gay people or somehow think that they are the devil but rather let’s take up the challenge to love them and teach them how they too can be friends with Jesus.

Michael

Last week Séamus went to a prayer evening here in London called “Pure in heart”.

I often go too only that recently it clashes with a fitness class Rayne and I have been doing.

The prayer evening is usually very nice with an hour of adoration with music, a tea and coffee break and then a talk or teaching on something to do with the faith.

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Last week the talk was about the dangers of pornography and when Séamus came home he said “it was all about straight people” and so we asked ourselves if the group was really ‘Pure in heart” or rather “straight in heart”.

Similarly only a few months ago they were looking for people to serve mass and so I volunteered. I never got a reply!

And so last week both Séamus and I decided to email the leadership team and ask.

Fortunately they replied straight away most apologetically and welcomed my offer to serve mass and Seamus comment about the recent talk.

Praise God and good on them for being so humble and willing to learn and adapt.

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The problem you see with a lot of catholic talks is that they are often only about straight people because that’s how they have been for years. The speakers probably don’t even realise how pastorally insensitive and closed that they are being.

It was the same last year as we went to a bible study in Soho by Mauro. It was excellent and yet every now and then the ‘straight is the only way’ would raise its ugly head and for a gay person another sword to the heart.

Of course it’s not easy to give a talk or teaching that includes everyone and I’m certainly not perfect at it either.

For example I talk a lot about gay men but perhaps not enough about lesbian women and I hardly ever mention bisexual people etc.

I too am constantly learning and adjusting.

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Anyway last night Our Lady spoke to me even more clearly on her love and plan for LGBT people and it fits in perfectly to the message she gave in Medjugorje on the 25th .

Latest Medjugorje Message, October 25, 2021

“Dear children! Return to prayer because who prays is not afraid of the future; who prays is open to life and respects the life of others; who prays, little children, feels the freedom of the children of God and in joy of heart serves for the good for his brother-man. Because God is love and freedom, therefore, little children, when they want to put you in bonds and to use you, it is not from God. Because God loves and gives His peace to every creature; and that is why He sent me to you to help you to grow in holiness. Thank you for having responded to my call.“

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And now the message Our Lady gave me which is the perfect application of the Medjugorje message to LGBT people.

“My dear children

In the eyes of God you are all equally loved and wanted.

God makes no differentiation between age, sex, gender, culture etc. 

You are all his children and are all called to be saints in various different ways.

Just as a dog must be a dog and a cat must be a cat, so too is it among people!

A man must be a man and a woman must be a woman and a gay man must be a gay man and a gay woman must be a gay woman.

It may surprise you that I use this language my children but I use your language so that you may understand.

God sees a man or a woman. Whether gay or otherwise is only secondary as a man is a man.

In times past gay men and women have been most abused and misunderstood often having been rejected and shamed by family, by society and by my son’s church.

How can these people come to know Jesus if the very people representing Jesus rejected them and told them that they were acting on behalf of Jesus?

My children, the wounds and consequences have been enormous and many of you in error have handed over these gentle and sensitive lambs to be ripped apart and devoured by Satan.

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Just as with abortion, it is always the innocent who suffer the consequences and just as heaven is full of these aborted children is it also full of so so many LGBT children.

God my children is mercy and justice and no soul that doesn’t know God because of misinformation or abuse will be refused a second chance even if it is at the hour of death.

Pray, pray, pray.“

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And so you see Our Lady is calling us to prayer because in prayer we will not only find our own calling but we will discern and respect the calling of others which will be different.

And so my prayer now is for our church that she really will be ‘Pure in heart” and not just ‘Straight in heart” and that she will take very seriously her mission to heal and bandage the wounds she had inflicted on LGBT souls while adjusting her teachings and pastoral approach so as to hurt no more.

Have a wonderful day, please keep me in your prayers and many blessings to the Pure in heart team who responded to our concerns with love and humility. May others catholic groups learn from them and not shy away or hide from these current pastoral issues.

Michael

Good morning!

Last Sunday both Toni and I were nominated and elected to be on the LGBT Westminster pastoral council. In other words to be part of the decision making team etc.

It’s interesting how this group came about.

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The Admiral Duncan, a gay bar in Soho was bombed in 1999 killing three people and wounding 70.

There was a response not just of hatred but of prayer and out of this tragedy was born LGBT Westminster, a support group for catholic LGBT people.

After the elections on Sunday night a man asked to talk to me. As part of the election process we had to write a short bio and if I knew that it would have been read aloud I’d have written something different!

The bio mentioned my involvement in the inner healing ministry and upon hearing this, this man wanted to talk to me about conversion therapy.

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From him I understood that conversion therapy didn’t just exist in christian camps or centres but also that it existed in psychiatric services.

Without giving away too much he explained to me the abuse that he went through and the long term effects that it has had on his life.

It’s true that in times past homosexuality was illegal and was considered as a mental illness and things like electric shock treatment were used to treat it.

When I come to terms with stories and facts like this it makes my own journey, as painful and all as it has been seem comparatively small.

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And perhaps the saddest thing that this man told me repeatedly is that the psychiatrists were catholic.

“They were catholics, they were catholics”.

And yes, to many of us gay people, the word ‘Catholic’ is like the the word “Cat” to a mouse…..danger!

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What most people don’t realise unless they are gay themselves is that “coming out” has 2 dimensions to it

1. Accepting it yourself which in my experience is the easier part.

2. Finding acceptance and living in society, in my experience the very hard part.

Even today it is very hard being openly gay and catholic because some people will treat you badly regardless.

Straight people don’t need to worry about so many things when they go out.

I noticed it here in London, there are some areas and places and you can feel the hostility and aggression and you just want to run. You know that you are not safe.

It’s the same for going on holidays or meeting family etc. Not everywhere is safe, not everyone is accepting and many families want their gay children to stay away less they bring shame to them and their friends.

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It took my mum years and years to tell anyone that I was gay until she was forced to when a breakdown landed me back in Ireland.

I still remember it! When I was getting better I started going out and she was petrified who I spoke to in the pub and what I said. If only she could have been proud of me as I was I probably wouldn’t have broken down at all but that’s another story and she’s got there now, more or less.

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And then of course there is the acceptance in the church….

After my conversion I spent 3 years in France staying with catholic communities and I never once met a single openly gay catholic man.

Nor did I during my 6 months in India or in my first 6 months with the MGL’s (missionaries of God’s love) in Canberra.

I got into constant trouble for talking about it and for sharing my testimony until I had to leave each place time and time again and to my family in Ireland this was further confirmation that I was the problem!

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It took me years to accept and believe that I wasn’t the problem but that the church and society was the problem and that God wasn’t calling me to fit into a system of silence and shame but rather to stand out!

Yet the problem with anyone who stands out is this: Who will stand with you?

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Although I joke, the answer is that precious few will stand with you even though they agree with you and they know that the system is corrupt.

Fear holds people back. Fear of the consequences, fear of the authorities that be etc.

It was fear that caused the disciples to run from the cross and leave Jesus alone.

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And it’s because of this that groups like LGBT Westminster are critically important because we not only need God, we need eachother, we need friends, we need community and we need a place where we feel safe and accepted.

My hope is that LGBT Catholic groups like this will spring up all over the world and give gay Catholics a taste of normality, a taste of acceptance and a place where they can come and take the heavy protective armour off and just be.

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And so with all this in mind, let us keep praying and hoping for the future that the church will learn from the error of her ways and reach out in love to welcome her LGBT children home realising that she is the one in need of “gay conversion therapy” and not us gays!

Bless your day,

Michael

Happy Monday everyone.

This morning Our Lady spoke to me about the power of the poor and the simple. I’m not sure that the owner of this car that I spotted last night fits into that bracket!!

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We certainly live in a funny world where some drive cars like this while others don’t even have a bicycle. Last night I must have seen about 20 cars like this one as a cycled back from Mayfair.

“Our lady 

Write my child!

As you become an apostle of love, you will also become an apostle of mercy and justice and this will lead you into many wars and battles that you’d prefer not to have.

Jesus did not get into trouble with the authorities directly. He got into trouble with them indirectly.

Let me explain!

He did not start off his mission by going to the houses of the scribes and pharisees and challenging them on how they were treating certain people.

Instead he began his mission by teaching the poor about God’s love for them and warning them about the pharisees 

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When the pharisees found out they were raging as they were afraid of losing their power.

The poor look powerless my child but authorities have always been afraid of the poor, not because of their power but because of their number.

Look at your governments. When enough people are dissatisfied the government falls apart because the authority that they have comes from the people and is there to help and guide the people.

Often people are afraid but when someone with authority educates and explains to them what is happening, fear and silence turn to anger and action.

Never underestimate the power of the poor and the simple.

The real power lies in their hands and this is why your adversary Satan does all that he can to manipulate and brainwash ordinary people into compliance with ungodly ways.

His greatest tool is the media which is why I ask you to cling to me through prayer so that you too won’t be deceived.“

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For me this message shows me the justice and wisdom of God who understands how the rich and the powerful abuse the poor through things like the media and yet our calling as apostles of love to love and educate people as to the real truths of who they are and the purpose of life.

And so with that in mind let us continue to follow Jesus and to live and teach the truth as best we can by both words and example to the poor, the oppressed and the marginalised while being aware that we will be fiercely opposed by some who have a lot to lose.

In Jesus we trust!

Michael

A very good Sunday to you all! This Sunday is mission Sunday as we pray for missionaries all over the world.

And what’s the mission?

To make Jesus known, to make the need for prayer and repentance known and to make the merciful love of God known!

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Nowadays sadly all over the church and all over the world we have taken the love and mercy bit and ignored the hard work of repentance, prayer, intercession, reparation etc.

Of course these are not the things people want to hear about but if you go to the doctor you don’t want to hear that you have got cancer or whatever and yet if you’ve got it you’ve got it! The good news isn’t that it doesn’t exist but that the doctor has a cure and similarly with sin! The good news of the gospel isn’t that sin doesn’t exist but rather that God has sent us an answer.

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And on this note I was recently reflecting on my own mission to the gay Catholic community and was recently talking with a lady who used to pray the rosary outside the masses organized for gay people years ago.

At a first glance to most people she’d come across as a homophobic old bat who should mind her own business but yet there was much more to the story.

Being a deep woman of prayer and being very familiar with the lives of the saints and the mystics she knew well that Jesus loved these gay people just as much as anyone else.

So what was she doing praying outside the mass then?

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Her issue wasn’t at all with the mass being for gay people but it was around the seeming absence of proper preaching and teaching about the mass, the sacraments and prayer.

You see the sacraments are something very sacred and we are supposed to receive them with as much love as possible and be in a state of grace.

Mass is not just a party where everyone is welcome and everyone can participate in the same way.

We are dealing with the spiritual, with the sacred and we must prepare and make concrete efforts to live lives of prayer and holiness.

Priests who do not teach people about this and help people to reform their lives do not do anybody any favours and in the end the ‘gay masses ‘ had the reputation of being a catholic pick up joint for gay people rather than a place of prayer and conversion.

And so this lady and others were praying the rosary, not in protest of there being a mass for gay people but in protest of mass and the sacred being turned into a farce!

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Of course the gay people could say that this is homophobic but the reality is that whether we are gay or straight we are all called to repentance and holiness.

It’s also true that in my experience I’ve met quite few gay Catholics who are not interested in much more than gay people being accepted in the church.

And yes, of course gay people should be accepted in the church but of course the gay people should accept the church too and the calling of Jesus to living lives of prayer.

It works both ways!

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And it is with this spirit of both prayer and openness that we will be having monthly Medjugorje prayer evenings for LGBT Catholics and their friends and families! There will be no mention of conversion therapy or trying to make people straight but there will be lots of mention of the conversion of heart which every single one of us needs.

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Our dream is to see the catholic church full of LGBT people who go to mass and confession regularly, who love Our Lady, who pray the rosary and go to adoration and who will teach other people to do so too.

If we achieve that then I’m sure that nobody will feel the need to pray the rosary outside in protest but rather they’ll come in and join us!

So please friends, on this mission Sunday pray for Our mission to bring as many LGBT people as possible into deep lives of prayer, holiness and happiness!

Have a beautiful day,

Michael

Yesterday was Friday and in the afternoon I went for coffee with Rayne It was about 3pm and part of me felt a little guilty for not being in the church at this special time of prayer.

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Yesterday also happened to be the feast of John Paul II, a man I’ve prayed a lot to especially for the ministry of evangelisation.

Anyway there we are in the coffee shop where there were already a few people.

We ended up seated near two guys who were talking so loudly that they may as well have been on loudspeaker.

The more I tried not to listen, the more I heard!!

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They were both American, 38 year old, one grew up 45 minutes outside San Francisco, both were very successful in finance, both had girlfriends for 7 years which didn’t work out, one is now engaged to a German girl while the other was half french and half Italian.

They both like skiing and prices in Europe are better than those in the USA and both are very happy living in London!!

Honestly it was painful listening to it. They reminded me of the life in finance I left and why I left and also there was an uncanny resemblance between one of them and my older brother, another ‘successful’ guy!!

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As I prayed a little I said to God “what on earth am I doing here with these 2 loud speaking gongs beside me?”.

Immediately I got my answer; to pray for them and offer to God the pain it caused me even to listen to them.

Suddenly I felt the presence of Our Lady close to me and she spoke gently to my traumatised spirit!

Her words were short and sweet:

“So many do not give God a second thought…where will they spend their eternity?

They are utterly consumed by the things of this world as you put it. Many have only the smallest flicker of conscience left.

Offer your suffering today for these souls. Their joy will be short lived.“

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Then it hit me why I found their conversation so painful. It wasn’t because there is anything wrong with finance or travel or even skiing but it was because they were utterly consumed in this type of life that there wasn’t even a mention of God or of anything spiritual.

It was like they were hypnotized or absorbed by worldly success that everything from the way they spoke to how they dresses screamed unbelief to my spirit and caused it pain to think that they could be so utterly deceived.

They were like birds without wings, consumed by things on the ground who had never learnt to fly!

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Eventually they left and even the owner of the coffee shop remarked how loudly they spoke and how we could all hear!

Was it self importance or was it just an utter lack of sensitivity for others or was it both?! Who knows.

Shortly afterwards I went to evening mass after which I went for a cycle and called into Tyburn Convent for some adoration.

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It was about 8 and the nuns were singing their prayers. It was so beautiful and soothing and calm, the total opposite to the coffee shop and my Spirit relished the atmosphere of prayer and peace!

These nuns won’t be going skiing or won’t be getting married and running big businesses nor will they be wearing fancy clothes and eating in fancy restaurants and in the eyes of the world are not successful.

Yet in God’s eyes, they have been given the better part!

So people, if you are going to dress like a penguin, then do it for God and the rewards of eternal life rather than wasting all your gifts and talents on things that are here today and gone tomorrow.

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Thank God for the gift of the Tyburn nuns and indeed all people who have given their lives to Jesus. Today let us pray in a special way for atheists, that the Lord may awaken them out of their slumber!!

Have a super day,

Michael

Good morning!

As I reflect on this week I notice that it has been a week full of blessings and battles. Blessings as things move forward with someone unexpectedly offering to pay for my flights to Medjugorje for example and battles with people constantly undermining me and my ministry and stirring up old wounds.

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As I reflect this morning I guess what I experience isn’t any different from anyone else really.

We all have old hurts and wounds and at times God allows Satan to stir them up to test us and purify our hearts and sometimes it can happen through people who are quite close to us!

This week for example a prayerful and well meaning lady said “Michael, you are so gifted at technology, you should be working and do evangelisation at the weekend”.

A few weeks back the same person said “you could go back to being an actuary and evangelise there”.

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Little did she know that this is exactly what my church hating, crazy aunt used to shout at me for years as she refused to believe in anything spiritual about me except that I was mad!

And so years later when a supposedly spiritual person says this to me it leaves a mark.

I’m sure it I was straight and involved in the healing and evangelisation ministries while receiving inner locutions etc. that I would not have heard such a comment.

There is so little empathy and sympathy out there amongst a lot of catholic people for the gay community that most of them cannot see any value in the tireless hours I spend praying, evangelizing, writing etc.

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From what I can see is that gay people are not wanted in conservative circles because they cause people to ask too many questions about sex and their own sexual repression can’t handle it.

Are people really all that obsessed about gay sex or is it just their own sexual repression and sexual frustrations coming to the fore as the gays are getting some and they are not?!

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At times I look about the church and I think to myself “what a bunch of frustrated old bats afraid to say boo to a grasshopper and totally uncomfortable in their sexuality and in talking about intimacy”.

I’ll probably get into trouble for saying that but hey, my life is trouble.

Jesus came to give us life and healing and to free us from things like fear and shame but honestly I see so little of this freedom in the church

Endless talks and prayers are all well and good and Jesus does ask us to pray for the world etc.

Yet the first thing that Jesus asks of us isn’t for our wonderful prayers or ministries or blogs or inner locutions or stories. No! The first thing that He wants is our hearts.

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Broken and messed up and all as they might be, He desires to love them, free them and transform them and then use us to spread his love from this place of transformation.

To put ministry or anything else before this is not sacrificial, it is selfish because it’s like saying to Jesus “I can help people without your love in my heart” and then people end up doing God’s work in man’s way!

The more we get healed in our own hearts, the more we will also get healed and freed in our sexualities and bodies and will no longer see contact with others as an occasion of sin but as an opportunity to love.

We will no longer feel the need to dress shabbily as if looking well is a sin nor will we feel the need to dress provocatively to seduce others. The Holy Spirit will teach us how to look after ourselves and how to look after our bodies without excess.

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We will no longer feel fear and shame around talking about things like intimacy and sexuality nor will we judge others because Jesus will give us the gifts of understanding and as we open up to him about our own struggles we’ll be far slower to judge others.

Of course it’s far easier to live a life of sexual purity if one surrounds themselves with misery and moaning but this is not holiness!

Holiness is not about running away from life and it’s challenges. It’s about embracing life and allowing Jesus transform every moment of it into something special.

Jesus desires us to be transformed by his love and for this light to shine and to attract others.

There is nothing attractive about a bunch of old people piously saying the rosary while looking miserable and thinking that they are better than everyone else!

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True prayer of the rosary or anything else should give us humility and joy and then make us reach out to others in the same spirit.

It should give us a greater love for God, a greater understanding of ourselves and a greater love for others.

It should not transform us into a bunch of miserable gabbling old turkeys that scare others away.

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So anyway, with all that off my chest let us endeavour to allow Jesus to transform us and to be humble and to reach out to others.

Let us be slow to advise and tell others what to do with their lives less we really know them and instead let us ask Jesus to transform and change us instead!

Let us work on our wounds and ask ourselves questions as to why we are so uncomfortable with certain people such as gays….is it really them that we are uncomfortable with or is it something in us?

And finally if we have sinned by judging, excluding and bullying others in the name of the gospel, let us quickly run to confession because these sins scream to heaven even more than all the sex in the world!

Bless your day and pray for me for patience and humility too as I have to deal with this rubbish every day from people who think they know everything.

Michael