What do you call an Irishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?………..A Referee
Paddy Murphy arrived at Boston’s Logon airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An Texan asked him if he was homesick.
‘No,’ replied the Irishman. ‘It’s worse, I have I’ve lost all me luggage.’
‘That’s terrible, how did that happen?’
‘The cork fell out of me bottle’, said Paddy.
Catholic Dog – Irish Story
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, Father, me dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ A mass for the poor creature?’
Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’
Muldoon said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think *€5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?’
Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary and Joseph. Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?’
‘O’Halloran,’ asked the pharmacist, ‘did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife’s appearance?’
‘It did surely,’ replied O’Halloran, ‘but it keeps fallin’ off.’