Category Archives: Mini testimonies

Mercy to gay community

11 Mon Jun 2018

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This morning I woke up with a flashback from the past and the horrofic confusion of dealing with homosexuality while being christian.

As I prayed I was reminded of another miraculous healing I received about 10 years ago.

Up to now shame has prevented me from sharing this one but today I walk into another step of freedom! So here goes….

At the time I was living in Paris and it was 6 months after my conversion. I used to experience horrific attacks from evil spirits and besides my uncle in ireland, nobody else really seemed to believe me or knew how to help me.

The isolation, the fear, the confusion and the lonliness coupled with my own weaknesses led me to falling back occasionally into sexual activity in the gay world. A battle that only those that are familiar with this scene can really understand.

A few months later I had run out of money in Paris and to make matters worse I was facing the dreaded test and results for HIV. I have always hated needles and let me tell you that sitting alone in a hospital waiting room in a foreign country was no fun. I clutched my rosary beeds and said to Our Lady that I’d accept the result either way.

The results came back, it was negative but unfortunately I had picked up another less serious sexually trasmitted disease which was going to require surgery.

In the meantime I left Paris and went to Paray le Monial to volunteer (apparition site of sacred heart of Jesus).

The nearest hospital was in Lyon and so I had to go there for a consultation.

Fearing I was HIV + and because I shared my testimony too openly for some to handle I was asked to leave Paray Le Monial. There was no space in the sacred heart of Jesus for a confused young man facing surgery while battling with demons and with homosexuality.

They purchased me a train ticket for Lyon and I was left to survive.

Yet I felt Jesus with me reassuring me that I had done nothing wrong and that He had a place in His heart for me even if the Emmanuel Community looking after the apparation site could only see me as a troublemaker.

Someone once said that I am like a cat with 9 lives and so after a week in Lyon I had managed to find a place to stay and a job in “subway” , the sandwich shop!

My uncle Thomas came to visit me from Ireland. He is the only family member I saw in those first 5 years and he placed his life and heart on the line defending me and helping me when I had nobody.

He brought me to the hospital in Lyon to try sort out the necessary paperwork. France is tricky when it comes to paperwork and even if he didn’t speak french, just to have someone I knew to sit with me in that waiting room meant a lot.

The papers got sorted and Thomas went home. The surgeon told me that I’d need 2-3 operations. I shrilled at the thought.

The first operation arrived. I came to ‘Lyon Part Dieu’ hospital on Sunday night and was due for an operation on Monday morning.

I had a statue of Our Lady that I placed beside my bed as I battled with a cutting lonliness that seemed to pierce my soul.

The man beside me was a snorer. I don’t think I slept a wink.

Early Monday morning they brought me down to the theatre and despite everybody telling me that they would never let me down with my brown scapular on, they did!

Monday afternoon I woke up groggy. They would let me go home on Tuesday.

Tuesday morning while still wearing the needle for the drip I sneaked out of the hospital with a scarf around my hand to hide it and went to mass. Later I discovered that the priest was a little scared to see someone with a scarf around his hand going to communion. Maybe he thought that I had a knife!

Anyway, on Tuesday I went to a friend’s house (another testimony)

https://michael4jesus.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/deux-anges-francais/

to recover and rest and a few weeks later I had to go back for a checkup.

The good news was that I didn’t have cancer. The bad news was that there would be a second and a third operation.

I was quite scared to tell people why I was in hospital. The majority of even the best church people didn’t seem to be able to handle issues such as homosexuality not to mention talk of STD’s and so I lived in a permanent fear and state of anxiety.

And so I went for the second operation only to be told that there would be a third one and now a fourth one. O man, I could take no more if it and begged Our Lady to help as it all seemed too much.

And so I went for the third operation. A nice young nurse asked me if I was taking any medication for my HIV! She nearly gave me a heart attack. She got my file mixed up!

And so I was put to sleep and shortly after woke up to french nurses laughing at me.

‘C’est toi le jeune homme qui on s’est fait endormi pour rien’ they chuckled.

In english ” you are the young man that was put to sleep for nothing”.

Groggy after the anesthetic I woke up wondering if it was a dream or not. A few hours later the surgeon arrived to my bedside to explain that the growths had disappeared and that I could go home.

Our Lady had intervened and once again showm me that the mercy of Jesus is for everybody and all illnesses, even those of a sexual origin.

As I look back on this all I give thanks to God and yet my heart is still healing from the paralysing silence and rejection I faced from so many in the church at the time.

Jesus has immemse love and mercy on broken people like me with homosexual tendencies that we did not ask for. He helps us, he wipes our tears, he heals our wounds without judging.

If you know people living with homosexuality, love them, treat them to a coffee, listen to their hearts, offer them hope, reassure them…. be Jesus.

So thank you to Jesus and Mary and also to the little handful of people around the world that loved me and helped me over the years.

Please pray for those who may be in a similar position today and indeed for my own ongoing healing and support.

It could be your son or your brother or your nephew….

Nervous Breakthroughs

11 Thu Jan 2018

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The first memory I have of meeting someone mentally unwell was of a cousin. She sat in a vegtable like state, overweight from medication ….She had been like that for years and no treatment had worked.

My second meeting with it was my mum. At age 23 as I called to say goodbye before starting a new job in Paris, she greeted me in front of the house and told me that she was going to commit suicide. My dad held her back as she cried as i called the doctor to get her committed to hospital.

When i visited her i sat in the TV room where there was a mix of visitors and patients of every age. One couldn’t tell the difference to be honest and i felt both a compassion and solidarity with the others. I visited my mum every day. Ironically it was the only place i could go to have a normal conversation. Meanwhile at home my dad and older brother seemed to be enjoying the peace and there was sport on the TV.

A week later i said goodbye to mam in hospital. My new life was to begin in France. It was a great consolation to them that ‘Michael was doing so well ‘. I hadn’t told them of the numerous visits to the doctor, the extreme fatigue, unhappiness in my job and confusion in my sexuality. I tried to be strong…..

Three months later i had my first nervous brrakdown. Extreme panic attacks, nausea, sleeplessness, no appetite…My dream of a new life came crashing down and with the help of a friend i had to pack my bag and go back to the countryside where i grew up, the small minded place that i hated so much and that id done everything to escape from.

My Mum, now a little better nursed me back to health. It took 8 months and i must admit that it was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

But this breakdown was also a breakthrough. It helped me realise that life was not about money or jobs or careers and also how life can go so wrong!

So i went back to work in Dublin and immediately the panic attacks started again. My girlfriend at the time, Laura, was worn from it. She had become more like my nurse than a girlfriend as subconsciously i sucked the life out of her.

Soon after the worst happened. My mum crashed again and from month to month went from bad to worse as doctors tried every mixture of medication before eventually electric shock treatment.

I used to sit on the cold tiles of the toilet cubicle of work and try to get my breath. What was happening to me? Was i the same as my Mum? And the most terrifying thought, if they couldn’t heal her…what chance had I? Twenty five years old, was my future a psychiatric home…or was it suicide?

I broke again and this time worse. Out of work….dead….i had lost hope. Mam wondered why i wasn’t visiting her in hospital. I couldn’t go near the place as fear gripped me.

I stayed with my auntie during this period. A strong woman but also a harsh woman. I overheard her talking about me on the phone to her siblings…”the same as his mum”…written off.

During this breakdown i questioned even more the meaning of life and if there was a God. I questioned what would happen if i killed myself. Overdosing or drowning myself seemed like the best options. I questioned my sexuality…was i gay…did gays go to hell….and most of all i questioned mental illness… what was it… was it really an illness or was it more a deep unhappiness in a life without real meaning?

I was yearning for the answers and it became clear that no therapist or psychiatrist had them. Somehow i felt the answers were deep within me.

A few weeks later i tried to get myself committed to St Bridget’s psychiatric hospital in Ardee. My private health insurance had expired and i guess nobody wanted to waste their money on a lost cause. My auntie drove me to hospital. They didn’t take me.

The breakdown continued….a therapist suggested i try homosexuality. I gave it a go….after all what had i to lose. But that day i did lose something…i lost my dignity, my self respect and suicide seemed even closer. Homosexuality was not the answer either. Sex numbed the pain but afterwards killed my soul.

And so i came to my end. The breakdowns had taught me that i hated my life and my job, that the mental health system was an utter joke, that there was no true happiness in homosexuality and that even my family couldn’t be relied upon as i faught for my life.

And so i said a prayer as i sat on Bettystown beach which went something like this….’God, whoever you are, i think St Francis got it right. He too was young and rich and yet unhappy…the only difference was that he has his health to change….i don’t know God who you are, catholic, muslim, hindu, i don’t know. Im utterly lost. I don’t want to die but i’ve lost the strength to live…Help

The prayer didn’t seem to change a thing. I went home that evening and thought of my granda who used to love me so much when i was a child. He seemed to be the only one that saw through my devilment and mischief and spent the last ten years or more of his life crippled with arthitis. Somehow he never complained and i used to ask him to help me if he could hear me and wonder at what motivated him to get up every day when his latter years seemed so miserable from a wordly standpoint.

And so i thought of prayer, Padre Pio and miracles. A dimension outside the nonsense of psychiatry.

And so eventually it happened….Jesus and Mary appeared to me one day and took me by the hand out of hell, out of ireland, out of my job, out of homosexuality…
And so my dear friends. Were the breakdowns necessary? Was i ever even sick only different? Did i have to reach the end of myself to find the beginning of something else?

Did i have to breakdown for God to brrakthrough?

You decide!

Adventures in France 🇫🇷 

12 Wed Apr 2017

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About ten days ago I set sail for France. 3 hours drive and 17 hours on the ferry I arrived at about 10.30 Sunday morning.. Tired and grumpy!! 

With my Internet not working and no GPS I was a bit stressed as to how I’d get to the only mass in Cherbourg at 11am. However I should not have worried, the Holy Spirit decided to guide me around the town and directly to a parking space that happened to be right beside a church…. But was it the right Church? Yes it was!! In I went and sat down in front of a statue of St Therese of the child Jesus, just like 9 years ago when I went to France for the first time? 

However my GPS ended there and after hours driving around looking for the monastery where I had arranged to spend the night I finally gave up and bookrd a hotel. I could only conclude that God did not want me staying there. 

A ten hour drive followed the next day and I arrived at Château Neuf de Gaulore where I started a retreat. I arrived exactly on time for dinner and with my nerves shattered from the stress of it all I tried to relax!! 


The retreat began on Monday and ‘retreat’ being the operative word. Often in the spiritual journey you feel like you are going backwards or ‘retreat’ ing while in fact you are moving forward. Another aspect that never ceases to shock me is the type of spiritual alzheimer’s disease that my heart seems to suffer from. How often do we need to be reminded of God’s love for us.. . Very often!! 

The highlight of the retreat was visiting the house where Marthe Robyn stayed for 50 years. She was bed ridden and ate nothing but the eucharist while she suffered the passion of Jesus every Friday. I visited the room every day and for the first few days just sobbed as God healed more of the wounds life has inflicted on me. 

Five days later I came out and Our Lady told me to go to Lourdes for Easter. And wouldn’t you know a kind lady at the end of the retreat offered me a place to stay in Lourdes. 

So I’ve spent the last few days meandering towards Lourdes. I spent one night in Montpellier, a place i visited once before to learn french before my life changed… Nostalgia. The last 2 days I’ve been in Toulouse and tomorrow I’ll continue to Lourdes! 

Many times I’d like to see where it’s all going. The biggest challenge is living in the moment and placing blind trust in Jesus, offering up the doubts and anxiety that it brings. 

Over the next few days I hope to reconnect with my irish friends and speak ENGLISH!! 

Please keep me in your prayers as this trip is more challenging than I expected!! 

Bless you all and prayers from Lourdes on the way!! 

Miracle of my mum

28 Sat May 2016

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To give glory to God and encouragement to anybody out there that may need it, here is a short sharing of what God has done for my mum.

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Ten years ago before I ever had any health problems my Mum, a gentle sensitive woman, suffered a breakdown. Before leaving to start a new job in Paris she threw her arms around me and told me that she was going to commit suicide. My Dad had nearly died the year before and I guess it was all too much for her to cope with.

23 years old and pretty naive I brought her to hospital. My Dad, a quiet country farmer thought it best for me to do this. Little did he know the effect it was going to have on me.

2 weeks later I said farewell to my Mum in hospital and left for France. The next 2 years were going to be the worst imaginable. In and out of hospital and on every sort of medication my mother was not getting any better. ECT was used a year later and I recall her not knowing who I was. That didn’t work either….

It was in the midst of this that I had my first breakdown. The trauma of it all shook me to the core and not seeing any improvement in my mum despite untold medical intervention did not help. This is when I turned to God.

When Jesus entered my life He told me that he’d heal my mum and that if I prayed and trusted him that she’d never be hospitalised again. It would be over 5 years till I would see any family member again. My mum, the very one I was praying for turned on me! She said I was mad, she told me that my spirituality was a psychosis, she told me I was schitzophrenic and she even threatened to commit suicide if I didn’t return to Ireland and go to hospital. I cried myself to sleep many night as I wandered the streets of Paris. Eventually Jesus told me to stand up to her, that it was fear speaking through her… Calmly as I could, that night in Paris I said to her

‘Mam, if you think commiting suicide is the best option then I can’t stop you, it’s up to you’

I hung up and prayed the divine mercy as what seemed like every demon in hell attacked me. That night was a turning point and she never said that again.

Eight years later my Mum still gives me a very hard time. I am no longer a successful actuary like before but praise God, true to his word she was healed and was never put into hospital again.

Prayer works. At times God picks out one member of the family and allows the rest to crucify them…but by praying and trusting He can bring good out of it.

Without special intervention from Our Lady I would not be here to write this testimony. In every way she is my mum and who better to pray for my other mum than my mum!

If you know people in desperate situations, pray, pray the divine mercy chapelet and trust blindly in God’s ability to heal.

Please keep my family in your prayers and I assure you mine.

‘Jesus I trust in you’

The returned son

17 Tue May 2016

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The returned son!

The neighbours in a country town,
Walk around with a terrible frown!
Gossip and talking is their life,
Has that young fella got a wife?!

What’s his job? Where’s is house?
Did he grow? Is he still a mouse?
Has he a car? And a big salary?
Is he some sort of new age hippy?

We heard he’s mad, a screw loose,
Sure evey family has got a goose!
Cookoo with religion, oh so sad,
We prefer God of our own fad!

His poor mother, ungrateful pup,
We laugh & mock to shut him up!
They say that he might be a… gay,
But we never listen to hear say!

Hating what we dont understand,
We dig a hole, bury it in the sand!
He seems so normal, yet so weird,
Keep away, he’s to be feared!

He talks of spirits good & bad,
O dear Lord, surely he’s mad?!
His eyes shine with a light,
He sees beyond our human sight!

Who is he? We no longer know,
God forgive us, but tell him to GO!
He doesn’t fit, there is no place,
He’s like an alien from outer space!

Lord bless him, we wish him well,
Take him away, we feel like hell!
We love him in our own way,
We always will, come what may!

So dear son, we say goodbye,
‘Thank God he’s gone’ we sigh!
And so ‘the son’ hits the road,
Unwanted, rejected..that’s his load!

He cries in secret rivers of pain,
He knows they say he’s insane!
But God helps him from above,
On his tears, pours oceans of love!

Should you meet ‘the son’ today,
He’ll laugh and smile and be gay!
Secure in the love from above,
Forgive them all, bless with love!

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Language technique

16 Sat Jan 2016

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A funny little testimony to the goodness of God and to the reality of the Holy Spirit.

Shortly after arriving in France I had great difficulty in understanding anything at mass and I found that everybody spoke far too quickly for me to confidently follow the conversations. Only having done french to high school, I had the basics but between that and being fluent and at ease there was a gulf!

One day after spending an hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament I came out to find everybody speaking far more slowly and me understanding almost everything totally at ease! Of course they were not speaking more slowly, but God decided to speed me up!

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After a few months people were so impressed that they used to ask me what language technique I used to learn french….i used to say that I had a good angel, I dont think they’d have believed the truth!

To this day I speak french effortlessly almost like it’s a native language.

Prayer is powerful. God can do the impossible, visit Jesus at the Blessed Sacrament and He will help you with whatever it is that you need in your life!

A week of encounters

25 Fri Dec 2015

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This last week has been very special, primarily as it has been jam packed with the most unusual of encounters. So I left my parents house permanently about a week ago and hit the road trusting in God for the rest…

Last weekend I slept in a hostel in Ireland’s Galway while attending a retreat. What would be the odds of sharing a dorm with an american dude big into the Holy Spirit and his female friend who had a large book called ‘Spiritual Warfare’. Needless to say we got talking…..and praying. I met a group of super nice folk in Galway before being prompted to leave.

I then meandered to my local town Ennus where once again I stayed in a hostel. Arriving at midnight there was only one other person in my dorm. He had a book on his bag all about the fine line between spiritual experiences such as astral projection, shamanism and psychiatric terns….coincidence no, god incidence yes!!

Next morning we got talking and I had a great opportunity to pray with him but also educate him on some things that he was dabbling in. But half way through our chat we were interupted by a little french lady….she needed a lift to Limerick, I was going to Limerick…and of course she too was a spiritual seeker with a background in esoteric buddidm and catholicism. She offered to buy me lunch and pay for the trip, we went to Church and prayed together and she then invited me to France….

Leaving her I visited my gay friends and had a great night out with them (who also offered to help me with accomodation) before leaving yday to drive to Cork where I’m spending Christmas with a prayer friend and her family.

This week has been fun. Exhausting but fun. I think the biggest lesson is to being open to God reaching out and helping me through very unlikely sources. I saw Jesus in and through all these people and I hope they caught a glimpse of him in me. I don’t hide my faith se but when I do share, I share on God’s love and God’s mercy and how he chooses poor innocent fools and sinners such as myself to work through!

Perhaps an odd way to spend Christmas and yet no odder than God becoming man in a stable with a donkey!

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Pray for me….it isnt always plain sailing!

God Father

14 Mon Dec 2015

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In Catholic circles children are given 2 God Parents. Their role is to help the parents in the spiritual development of their child.

Today I wish to thank God for the wonderful God Father he gave me, my uncle Thomas.

When I met the Lord Thomas jumped into my life. He bought me my first rosary beads, he taught me how to pray, he explained to me how the Holy Spirit works and especially the different gifts. He taught me about Jesus, mass, prayer and spiritual warfare, he defended me against other family members who did not understand. He spent hours on the phone to me as I travelled alone around the globe. He was my rock!

In today’s society many do not take their responsibility as God parent seriously and so this makes me all the more grateful to God for giving me a God Father, friend and uncle all in one!!

Thank you Thomas. You saved my life by believing in me when nobody else did. You have been an amazing father figure to me where my own Dad fell short. You are an amazing person and testimony to what being a god parent really means.

Anybody who reads this, pray a blessing on Thomas!

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Mary miracle

13 Sun Dec 2015

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This is to give honour to the intercession of Our Lady!

5 years ago in France I developed a medical problem that required a number of operations. Hospital is never fun and even less so abroad.

I felt very lonely but prayer comforted me. After the 2nd operation I asked the surgeon if she was done…

No she said, there will be a third operation and most likely a fourth. I could take no more, it was too hard…i cried out to Our Lady for help..

Some 6 weeks later I came back and was once again wheeled into the theatre and put to sleep.

On awakening I heard some nurses pointing at me and laughing

”c’est toi la personne qui s’est fait endormi pour rien”

You are the person that was sent to sleep for nothing!!

I drifted back to sleep and woke later not knowig if it was a dream or reality but sure enough the surgeon came over later to confirm that it was true. Our Lady took over and praise God I never had to go back to hospital for that!

Of course the surgeon never admitted there was a miracle. For some reason most of the french people I met were quite hostile to miracles and to the supernatural working of the Holy Spirit which is strange when we consider Lourdes….but human pride never likes the supernatural!! Maybe God stuck me in their midst to open their minds. Who knows!

Anyway, all to say that Our Lady is still in the miracle business (even in France!!), she is very good and she doesn’t charge! Sometimes she heals us, other times she gives us the grace and strength to continue and sometimes, like in my case, it is a bit of both!

One thing is sure, she is real and she loves us!

Pray to Our Lady…she is beautiful.

India

12 Sat Dec 2015

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Towards the end of my 3rd year in France I went to speak to a priest near the Paris area! I spoke to him of my interest in the Holy Spirit and spiritual healing and of the various difficulties i had in finding a spiritual home in France! Humbly and rather quickly he told me that I should leave France, that the frenchies were far too rational!! In a way I was sad, but after 3 years I knew he was right.

‘Pourqoui pas aller a un pays en developpement comme l’Inde ou l’Afrique’  (Why not go to a developping country such as India or Africa) he said.

 

india

I looked at him, ready to explode on the inside and said to him..

In our irish language we have a phrase…

‘is fearr beagan cabhair no moran trua’ (a bit of help is better than a lot of pity)

And looking straight into his eyes I said that I have no money, a family who doesn’t understand me, how on earth am i going to get to India or Africa?!!

Now a door was going to open or slam shut in my face…it opened!! He organised to ring his religious brother in India and it was arranged that I would arrive over 2 weeks later!!! I had no real time for vaccinations so the Holy Spirit just told me he’d look after me… which by the way he did as I wrecklessly ate everything I got over there, drank water bla bla bla…..God is above all that when he wants to be!!

 

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I cried as I left France, I hadn’t seen any family for 3 years despite constantlly praying that one day they’d come to accept me…and now what was God doing? Sending me to India of all places where I knew absolutley nobody!! Trust, trust, trust….God was asking me to trust!

Arriving in Chennai some half a day later after a sleepless flight with Euro 30 in my pocket I got my bag and exited the airport! A swarm of taxi men surrounded me dressed in a sort of yellow colour, bumble bees! They would bring me to my destination some 3 hours away for 2500 rupee (about 25 euro). However I knew that there was a bus for just under 60 rupee and I was rather annoyed that they wouldn’t tell me where to get it!!!

Eventually I got angry and walked off to find the bus which ironically was only 20 metres away! At this stage I had changed my money and had 3000 rupee in 3 notes of 1000 each. When the busdriver asked my for the fare and I handed him a 1000 rupee bill he shouted at me ‘get off’!!! Welcome to India i thought!! Anway, I’m used to my faith being tested so I wasn’t going to let this bother me and saying a quick prayer another man jumped up and offered to pay for me!! Thank you God!!

There was now only one problem, because there were no seats I was invited to sit beside the busdriver on the gearbox looking straight out the window. Now for anybody that doubts the existance of God, may I suggest that you visit India and take a bus there! The rule is that there are no rules! Buses overtake buses when there are buses coming, people, cars, motorbikes, cows on the road….for the european chaos….especially after a really long flight with no sleep when you are the only white person sitting on the gearbox of the bus thinking ‘you guys probably think i’m rich and I bet you’ve got more money than me’

 

road

3 hours later and after the best rosary of my life I reached my stop. It was now after 9.30 pm and I still needed to find the monastery where I would be staying outside the town of Pondicherry. I asked somebody if they knew where it was…nope….another guy…bingo, he offered to drive me there on one of those bikes that look half like a motorbike and half like a pushbike! I was so thankful for his kind heart until he stretched out his hand for a tip!!! Emmm, the world is the same all over!! It was now 10 pm and all the lights were off and the gates closed….dear Jesus I thought, I can take no more…I knocked on the door of an adjacent house and they let me in!!

 

I was warmly welcomed by a french priest who showed me my room, there were lizard running along the wall but they were harmless so I was to take no notice!! I asked for the chapel where I was to spend the  next 3 hours….

 

chapel

 

The next day I was still a Zombie. I was shown around the monastery and orphanage where I would be teaching english and making myself useful in any other way possible!  All the orphan kids were HIV+ and yet radiated such peace and joy, it really made me think of life and the deeper meaning and how empty life in the west can be.

 

mike

 

But the greatest challenge was yet to come…teaching english to Indian brothers! Now little did I know how hard that would be. Despite english being my native language, I hadn’t used it for 3 years and so had become accustumed to thinking and speaking in french. I found it quite a challenge switching back (something that i did not expect) and it took me 5 months to begin to think in english once again. Furthermore, I liked maths in school, not english so I did not have a clue of english grammer and thank God for spellcheck when it comes to spelling……..So when I had all these indians asking me about past participles and future perfects and infinitives and conjugasing verbs I felt that I’d have a better chance teaching them chinese! But years of experience have taught me how to handle such situations in a way that I came away looking no less stupid and they came away no wiser!!

After a few weeks I was into the swing of things, up at 6 each morning for morning prayer, adoration and mass with the monks, teaching english mid moring and then working 3 afternoons per week in one of mother Theresa’s orpahanages.

 

sisters

 

It was here where I saw the miracle of Sophia who miraculously walked as I prayed for her.

 

Four months in and 2 to go I began to get itchy feet….what was i going to do when I came back to Europe?! I hadn’t exactly found what i was looking for in France and I had no real contact with Ireland and certainly no spiritual support! Anyway, faith wouldn’t be faith if we had all the answers to it was yet another call to trusing in Jesus Christ!

One Sunday after mass the Lord came through dramatically! A profound supernatural experience came over me in which Jesus told me to pack my bags, to leave the monastery, to travel about 12 hours accross India to a catholic retreat centre and that he’d send me somewhere else in the world from there! It is hard to describe such experiences, even now as I write about it, it seems surreal but yet I know that it is true!

 

I said my goodbyes and the monks (worried) thanked me for all my help and said their farewells. Our Lady gave me a profound peace on that bus journey, I felt her presence together with my guardian angel who comforted me! Despite the utter uncertaintly all i could feel was peace, joy and that childlike sense of adventure! Later I arrived at the largest Catholic Retreat Centre in the World………The Divine Retreat Centre! They welcomed thousand of retreatants each week and were very very gifted in the whole area of inner healing and the workings of the Holy Spirit! Finally I was with fellow crazy people!! “If the frenchies and my family could see this i thought, they may see that there is method to my madness”!!

 

me

A few days later I was introduced to the superiour of the retreat centre who welcomed me to stay for the remaining 2 months and who organised for me to get to Australia.

 

During this period I was shown around the entire retreat centre by brother Anthony who was later to come to Australia. The hospitality, warmth and generosity of the Indian people utterly amazed me as did their faith and spirituality. Us westerns may have more money but money isn’t everything!

 

ja

 

I do hope to visit India again! I also hope that more of the Indian missionaries will visit our countries and help us renew our faith and bring the healing power of Jesus to our shores!

 

Anyway, thank you India for everying! I had fun! Pray for me! Biggest lesson that this taught me…trust…trust in God for absolutely everything and never ever give up!